5 Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day Differently
Valentine's Day doesn't have to follow a script. Whether you're single, partnered, or somewhere beautifully in between, this day can be an invitation to deepen intimacy—with yourself, with others, and with pleasure itself.
Here's how to make it meaningful, wherever you are on your journey.
If You're Single
1. Date yourself with intention
Take yourself somewhere you've been wanting to go. Notice what delights you. This isn't just self-care—it's research into what you truly desire. Intimacy with yourself can be a foundation for intimacy with others.
2. Write a love letter to your body
Thank it for carrying you through everything. Appreciate the parts you've been criticizing. Notice the parts you love. Your body deserves to feel cherished, especially by you.
3. Reach out to your chosen family
Love isn't limited to romance. Send a message to someone who makes you feel seen, heard, and understood. Connection nourishes us in all its forms.
4. Explore pleasure without pressure
Whether it's a long bath, your favorite meal, or solo intimacy—give yourself permission to feel good in your body. Pleasure is your birthright. Permission is the key that unlocks it.
5. Release what's no longer serving you
Write down old relationship patterns, limiting beliefs, or shame around sex that you're ready to leave behind. Burn it (safely!) or tear it up. Make space for what's coming. And fill that space with golden light, so you feel full in the now.
If You're in a Relationship
1. Have the conversation you've been avoiding
Real deep intimacy lives in vulnerability. Set aside time to share something difficult but important—a desire you've been afraid to voice, a fear you're carrying, or simply what you need more of. Approach it with curiosity, not criticism.
2. Touch without expectation
Give each other a looooong, warm hug (it releases oxytocin). Gift a sensual massage with the intention of listening into the other person’s body and what they want. Remove the pressure for it to lead anywhere (you can name this aloud) and notice what emerges when touch exists purely for connection.
3. Revisit what brought you together
Look at old photos together or send one in a text, recreate your first date, or simply share what you first loved about each other. Remembering your foundation can reignite what's been dimmed by routine. I do this one a lot with my partner. It keeps us light and in love.
4. Create something new together
Try an intimacy exercise you've never done before. Here’s a simple breathwork one I’ve got called heart-breathing. Cook a meal together of something you’ve not tasted before. Dance in your living room in your favourite lingerie. Novelty awakens desire—let yourselves be beginners again.
5. Ask each other: "What feels good to you in sex right now?"
Our needs evolve. What felt nourishing at the beginning of your relationship might have shifted. Give each other permission to grow and express what intimacy looks like for you today.
If You're Somewhere in Between
1. Honor the complexity
You don't have to have it all figured out. Whether you're dating casually, navigating an open relationship, or in transition—your experience is valid. Sit with the uncertainty rather than rushing to define it. Or if you’ve sat in this liminal space for what feels like waaaay too long, move on to 2.
2. Check in with your desires and boundaries
What do you actually want right now? What feels nourishing versus draining? Write it down. Clarity comes from listening to yourself, not from following someone else's timeline. Or someone else’s needs or desires.
3. Communicate your truth
If you're seeing someone, be honest about where you are. "I'm enjoying getting to know you, and I'm not sure what I want long-term yet" is far kinder than pretending certainty you don't feel.
4. Plan a low-pressure, high-pleasure date
Whether it's with someone you're seeing or solo—do something purely for joy. Mini golf. A cooking class. A comedy show. Something that lets you laugh, play, and be present without the weight of "where is this going?" Sometimes the best intimacy happens when we stop trying so hard.
5. Give yourself what you're seeking from others
Attention. Appreciation. Presence. Rather than waiting for someone else to provide it, practice offering it to yourself first. This isn't about giving up on connection—it's about building the foundation that makes real connection possible.
A Final Thought
Valentine's Day, at its best, is an invitation to love more fully—not just romantically, but in all the ways that make us feel alive.
It's about choosing presence over perfection. Vulnerability over performance. Connection over comparison.
However you spend today, let it be a celebration of intimacy in its truest form: the courage to be seen, to feel deeply, and to honor what's real.
If you're ready to deepen intimacy and create the connection you truly desire—whether with yourself or with a partner—I'm here to support you. Book a consultation to explore how relationship and intimacy coaching can help you thrive.