How to have better sex: connection + consent with Nichi Hodgson

How to have better sex: connection + consent with Nichi Hodgson

How to have better sex: connection + consent with Nichi Hodgson

I want you to jump from two feet into the bedroom, when you feel finally ready to be intimate with a certain someone you might have just started dating.

And not only that, I want you to have the best sex possible when you do.

And so, I wanted to break out this bit of a conversation from a video I had posted a few weeks back with Nichi Hodgson, journalist on all things sexy for the likes of the Guardian and Sky News that will help you to do so.You see, consent is key to connection. And connection is the key to great sex. Especially if you are new to dating someone. 

Are you asking for too much from someone?

Are you asking for too much from someone?


**Core values are fundamental

Don't let them slide! Rather, soften around them.

To determine what your core values in relationship are ask yourself:

- What moments in my life have fulfilled me + felt meaningful?

- When do I feel most like myself

- In the times I've felt down, what has been missing?

My core values are:


Open communication

Accountability + Responsibility

Money mindset compatibility

Sense of adventure / curiosity

**Combat perfectionism

Ask yourself:

What do I wish others would see in me?

What do I wish I had a gentle teacher for?

Looking inward, we notice that we are not perfect either.

And that some things take time to uncover.

And that this may be the buried treasure you've yet to discover in the other.

**I'm curious, what's your nu 1 core value? Comment below.👇🏽

Healthy Pleasure – A Wellbeing Essential

Healthy Pleasure – A Wellbeing Essential

Dominique Karestsos, co-founder of the Healthy Pleasure Collective, and has dedicated her life to expanding our experience of pleasure whether we’re going solo or in a relationship.

Pleasure supports our wellbeing so that we can thrive in the world.

She shares with us LOADS of wisdom on how you can build a healthy and vibrant relationship to pleasure and sensuality in your life.

Boundaries - the unexpected love magnet

Boundaries - the unexpected love magnet


We think we're going to lose someone when we say no, that's not ok.

Instead, those worth keeping grow more curious about us. And respect our edges.

We become more powerful in ourselves as we trust ourselves more.

And that powerful sense of knowing is VERY sexy for someone who knows his or her own power as well.

This other person knows that they come to someone who can hold themselves and protect themselves.

And so they are free to love you. Without having to save you. And if they too know their boundaries, have a strong sense of self-respect + love for themselves, they won't expect you to save them either.


1. Know your desires + values in Relationship – get crystal clear – make a list

Include emotional, physical, mental + spiritual aspects

This is your line in the sand

2. Learn how to say NO - firmly + from your heart

When you are grounded and speak your NO clearly, then your YES becomes clearer as well. (Thank you @Sue Sutherland)

3. Be ok with whatever happens

Know that the trust + respect you demonstrate for yourself is what makes you YOU.

Love yourself knowing that being there for yourself is a great act of self-love.

And anyone who doesn't respect your boundaries, who doesn't first seek to respect you and then understand you, is probably someone you don't want around.

What better filter than this for discerning who's right / wrong for you!!

The Man Cave – Uncovering the mystery (+ hidden benefits)

The Man Cave – Uncovering the mystery (+ hidden benefits)


Women fear it when it's actually one of the best things for a relationship!


Here are all the reasons I got from talking to loads of guys about why we should be grateful for this deep, dark place:

If you want a man who's powerful, full of energy, present with you, able to give, is compassionate and loving then he'll need his space

Solo Tantra 101 - Polarity: Get the sparks flying

Solo Tantra 101 - Polarity: Get the sparks flying

My first 3 years of learning tantra were when I was single.

I practiced tantra on my own.

I share with you a basic tantric principle 💥 that of polarity 💥 

Or the push pull of life.

The magnetism that draws you to another person for instance.

Steps to increasing + practicing Polarity:

1 Decide if you want to be in the Go or Flow state

2 Transition fully into Go or Flow (most people are in Go - I give tips on getting into Flow)

3 Practice being in the state you choose. Partnered dance is a great way to practice.

The Go state is one where you are focused, have a sense of direction and movement and at the same time be present enough to feel into where the person in Flow is and respond.

Those in Flow states dance and move around the Go state person. There is power in the flow state as one cannot exist without the other. And people in Flow must listen into the Go state person so that they can receive the signals from them. The state is one of receptivity and relax.

Expand into new ways of being – how to be a brighter you

Expand into new ways of being – how to be a brighter you

Louise shares her own experience with expanding out into the person that she is today.

And how she guides people through their own process of 'emerging' into a more balanced version of themselves.

Learn about:

- what it looks like when you experience a growth spurt (aka spiritual awakening)

- how to listen for what wants to 'emerge' when this happens

- and be with the feelings, thoughts and emotions that come with it

So that you can come into being a newer, brighter version of yourself instead of running away and pushing down what wants to come out.

We also speak about:

- expanded states of consciousness - from meditation to plan medicines

- and how to interpret the language and learnings that we experience in these states

So that new meaning can be brought into our lives.

The Secret Lives of Men

I’ve begun to speak with, walk with and talk with more and more men through my work.
I’m here not to speak on their behalf – I’d not be able to do that accurately.
I’m here to communicate what I have felt and heard through these conversations and heart-to-hearts with some magnificent men. 👱‍♂🧔🏿👨🏻

Because the hearts of men are truly magnificent. ❤⚡💪🏼

And it’s their deepest desire to share their hearts with you. And love you from that depths of that most sacred of places.

And in order to do that and, for both them and for you thrive from this incredible gift of giving, you’re gonna need to be ready.

You’re going to have to let go of the expectation that a man is and always should be superhuman. Sometimes he is godlike and heroic beyond belief. 💪🏼
And other times he’s gloriously human. He experiences the full range of human emotion from rage to love to fear to courage to wisdom to longing to power to loneliness. 😐

And the bravest of men will show you all of this. 🎁🎁🎁

Because in this openness he’s taking the biggest risk of all – dismounting from the white horse to meet you at a heart level. 👸🏾🤴🏼

And when he dismounts from that horse, he all of a sudden becomes someone who can get hurt and falter. Who feels pain and doesn’t know quite what to do with it.
I know you. You are an incredible woman. You are learning to own your stuff. To do the work.
And in order to do that successfully it’s been necessary to be seen not as always perfect or right or having her shit together, but also in those moments where the cracks show. 😔

And so knowing what it takes to be powerful and fully loved and accepted exactly as you are, are you ready to do this for a man?

Because if what you long for is to be seen and loved for exactly who you are in all of you, I can confirm that men want precisely the same thing.

Learn to self-soothe – getting you back to good

Learn to self-soothe – getting you back to good

Self-soothing is soooooo good. Because only you know exactly what you need to make you feel better.

And you are with yourself ALL THE TIME, so basically there’s always someone there to look out for you.

Learn 6 easy ways to self soothe and make life so smooth:
1. Gentle touch

2. Non-linear movement

3. Golden light + love

4. Positive words / affirmations

5. Community + synchronised movement

6. Hugs