Clearing Ritual for Healing Heartbreak – Feed your ex to a reptile

In a recent conversation with Kelly Hinch on BBC Sounds, I shared that it's actually healthy to feed your ex to a reptile, metaphorically speaking , of course. Listen in on the conversation here (skip to 2:47:45 to fast track to my segment).

All this to help you heal from heartbreak. But can it work? Give it a go yourself by listening in on this audio guided meditation below on how to feed your ex to a reptile and heal from heartbreak.

Note: this recording was made in collab with my AI companion so that I could deliver it to you quickly and easily for free. Do pause the recording between each Step so that you can fully complete it before moving on to the next.

FYI Twycross Zoo in the UK is testing this IRL by giving one heartbroken human the chance to feed their ex, in the form of a bug, to a reptile at the opening of a new animal habitat: Close Encounters - The World of Reptiles and Spiders. How exciting!

The Five Step Ritual to Healing from Heartbreak

Step 1

Recall your ex and notice all that stuck stuff inside you, from the memories to the emotions to the physical sensations that go along with it all.

Step 2

Imagine all of this stuff moving outside of your body and into the body of a delicious little insect that the reptile of your choice might enjoy for lunch (my choice is a panther chameleon).

Step 3

Imagine feeding this insect to your chosen reptile. Know that all of that stuff that you've just cleared is simply energy. And that as a food source for your reptile it will be recycled and made into something nourishing.

Step 4

Voila! You've just practiced energy alchemy. Notice how you feel in your body. When I teach a similar ritual to clients who are struggling with heartbreak, they tell me they feel lighter and more free afterwards. If this is you too, you've become an energy alchemist – you've transformed negative energy into something positive and good.

Step 5

Fill up with the good stuff. Imagine fresh new light, crystal clear, high vibe energy enter into the spaces you've cleared within you.

You are whole, you are healed, you are complete.

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The truth is that it does work

When we experience relationship transitions and breakups, we often carry emotional residue that gets stuck in our bodies and can impede healing, moving on and making future connections that might be more right for us.

In my personal and professional practice, I've experienced how guided visualization and symbolic actions can help clients heal from heartbreak and:

🦎 Process complex emotions in a structured way
🦎 Create definitive closure points
🦎 Transform negative energy into positive potential
🦎 Open space for new relationships and experiences

The metaphorical act of releasing what no longer serves us allows space for new growth and opportunities.

How have you navigated breakups and heartbreak? Comment below.

And if you're still stuck, contact me and we’ll talk about how coaching can help you move forward.

On Living Well..and Ending Well (yep, that means death and dying)

I entered deep into conversation on life and death with Dr. Helena Dolny and a community of fellow coaches at Aephoria Partners. 

Perhaps it seems strange to post this today (it’s Spring Equinox as I write), the season in the northern hemisphere that is often all about welcoming in new life and living. What we often don't speak to is that Spring is also full of death and dying. The new buds that don't make it. And then the resilient few that 'harden' in the winds then blossom into fullness later on.

How do they do it?

Metaphors aside, talking about living fully...and dying well is tough stuff. And I love being with the tough stuff. Not because it’s easy. But because brave conversations like the one we had yesterday with Helena, make the tough stuff that much easier to be with, understand and move through so that we can indeed blossom and thrive.  

As a Coach, it’s my job to be with the challenges my clients face. To sit along side them as they ride out painful endings…the bumps of a bad breakup, the later phases of grieving of a partner lost to cancer or a destabilising career jolt in an unforeseen and undesirable direction. 

[ Flashback: From my archives (and still highly relevant) here’s a conversation I had with Ruth Sowter on how to practice resilience when you’re dating. Felt right to dig it up and share here. Enjoy it. ]

So that they can eventually move beyond this moment and shift forward into new beginnings…a new loving relationship or a job that feels like expansion and fulfilment. 

Life, it seems, is about transition. And how we surf the waves of change that comes with life’s transitions determines whether we thrive…or merely survive. 

As Dr Lucy Hone confirms so beautifully in her TedTalk, we all face challenges in our lives. Those that learn the skills and tools to be with these challenges well, build a resilience that is at once gentle and strong. 

As I share my own personal and professional set of skills and tools with those I work with and those I love, I continue to build my own understanding and embodiment of what it is to stand up time and again and brush off that proverbial dust. 

It is taking the time it takes. 

And I could not do it without the communities I sit in, the coaches that guide me (yes, I get to be supported too), and my own ever-deepening connection to self and the natural world around me. 

This is what it is to live well for me right now. 

What is it for you? 

How to uncover the hidden gifts of your inner critic when your heart is broken

My inner critic is vicious, she says.

And I know where it comes from.

The 50-something, strikingly beautiful woman sitting across the screen from me briefly describes to me a childhood full of neglect and abuse.

And she knows that this has something to do with the latest painful breakup she’s experiencing as her past spills into the present. 

This latest breakup is a shock to her system.

And, I think to myself, a wake-up call to her soul.

Something needs to change.

She knows this.

I know this.

But what?

The woman I am speaking with is gorgeous…and incredibly successful. She describes to me with ease and grace the multiple homes she has dotted across the globe. And the incredible effort it took for her to reach a level of material success most only dream of.

She recognises that she’s done all of this against incredible odds – as a woman from an underprivileged family where she felt no support at all.

Now, it seems, her next greatest area for growth and expansion is in the realm of love.

And that inner critic, that relentless voice of self-loathing and hate isn’t really helping her.

Or is it?

Why is it there?, she asks me imploringly and frustrated both.

And why can’t I stop it?

The heartbreak is bad enough. But I’m just being brutal to myself.

Yes, I want to move on from this past relationship, but mostly…

I just want to feel a sense of peace inside of me.

She’s in deep pain and I can feel the weight of the sadness that she carries. Zoom does nothing to separate me from what my clients are experiencing.

Distance it seems, like time, is a construct.

I share that in my experience, that critic has some important information it wants us to know. There’s something it desperately wants us to be aware of.

Often it’s trying to protect us from getting hurt again. It’s just hasn’t got the greatest way of communicating that.

Right! She exclaims. An ah-ha moment.

That makes sense.

I can see that this simple reframe has already lifted some of the weight she’s carrying.

Just…how do I get it to stop?

I explain to her that it’s my job as coach to guide her through the how’s. To teach her the skills and tools she can use to navigate this inner landscape and shift that voice to a more compassionate and nurturing one.

And that again, in my experience person and professional, this is the route not only to new love…but also the way towards inner peace.

Life – and love – will still throw up challenges, but how we are with them changes forever.

It is one of the greatest joys in my life to help others shift to more fulfilment and ease in relationships and intimacy – and in life.

Connect with me if you too would welcome in some guidance on whatever love and life is throwing your way. And I’ll share with you how coaching with me can help.