3 pre-date rituals that will make you rock it on a date

I’ve used these sweet and sexy rituals over and over again to get ready for nerve-racking dates with potential ‘loves of my life’ and smokin’ hot guys I’ve been curious about.

Why? Because I found that whatever way the dates went, I had a spectacular time. I was my own little party. Now that’s power!

Ritual 1: Shake it, baby

Shake it off...like a bunny or a polar bear.... Or maybe Taylor Swift? You decide. (Even if you do choose the bunny, I’d still recommend doing this ritual to some Taylor Swift.)

Shaking, a.k.a. the ‘therapeutic tremor’, is your body’s way of releasing tension and stress.

'No duh,' you say? Then why aren’t you doing it? Like all the time!!

It feels sooooo gooood.

Here’s the science behind what’s happening:

When we are stressed or threatened, our bodies physically tense and contract, especially muscles deep in our core. At the same time, a cascade of neurological and hormonal changes transforms our body for self-protection and defense. Our senses sharpen, heartbeat and breathing quicken, and digestion slows to a crawl.*

Sound familiar? That’s how I used to feel before ALL my dates.

No matter how much I kept telling myself to just chill out, I just couldn't. Here’s why:

Once we feel safe again, our bodies activate a natural shaking mechanism to discharge the muscular tension and reset our systems back to baseline….. But if this tension is not shaken out, then signals are sent to our brain that we are still under threat, which causes us to tighten up even more. A vicious cycle ensues.*

Best to shake it off.

Here’s how (Want a demo? Watch the video.)

Start with your hands and fingers. Wiggle them, move them. Shake them out.

Let the shake travel up into your arms, getting your whole arm involved. 

Now move your arms over your head, still shaking them the whole way.

Now let that shake shimmy down into your head and neck into your shoulders and rib cage.

Shake those hips! (As if I had to tell you.)

Shake it all the way down to your legs and your feet. Shake those feet out! 

Do this until you can't shake any more. You are done.

*Phoenix Society for burn survivors


Ritual #2: Dance it

I like to start this one off the back of the shaking ritual I described in my first post. After all, you’re already warmed up!

If you do that, you can start right in with your wild + crazy dance track. Find some music that makes your heart beat and let it out. Go insane!!

If not, you might want to start this ritual with a nice, sweet warm-up beat. Fine some music that's a bit fun and light to get you in the mood. Get those feet tapping and give it a little bounce.

And as you begin to get into it, you can then move on to a song where you really let your hair down. It might take you a few warm up tracks to get there, but when you do, really let it go.

Remember: no one is watching you anyway. This is YOUR TIME. Fill yourself with your own awesomeness through your most bodacious body moves. Let her rip! You know you look good. ;-)

Key tip: It’s important to let yourself be your most wild, fullest self in this. Allowing yourself to really go for it and let go will bring a massive sense of power which will fuel you during your date. Fill yourself up with good vibes until you are overflowing.

Ain’t nothin gonna bring you down.

Now, with whatever you got left, put on some purring sexy music. Oo yeah. End sexy and soothing. Run your hands through your hair, across your face, your luscious lips. Caress that body as it gently sways to the rhythm. Notice how much yumminess you can get from the pleasure factory of your own hands!! Let the music fill you, permeate you. Fill that body up with PLEASURE. You are pure, sensual power. Give yourself whatever you need to feel sooooo goood.


Top tip: create a track list of at least 3 songs (that’s about a 6-10 minute timeframe so give yourself that time well before your date).

  1. Song 1: Light, happy warm-up

  2. Song 2: Wild and crazy

  3. Song 3: Sweet and sensual

You’ll be flying out the door feeling ever so good, glowing with perfumed power.


Ritual #3: Aphrodisiacs

Just that word sets little fireworks off in my brain and in my body.

Why? Cause I’m a sucker for culinary delights. And history. And science. And love.

Aphrodisiacs fire me up on all those cylinders. 

Ancient civilizations used aphrodisiacs to fuel their sexual energy, their turn on. Whether it was via endorphins released by eating chilis, or the sensual plumping of the lips stimulated by the ingestion of ginger, or the sustained energy obtained from caffeine in chocolate that allowed for endurance in sexy play, our forebears in the Americas and Asia knew a few things about having a good time.

Since it's winter here in the northern hemisphere, I'll share with you the recipe for a nice warm glass of the hot cocoa (aka cacao) that will get your inner fires burning.

It'll also help you to get out the door. Sometimes in winter it's difficult to get out there when it's so cold.


Ginger + Chili Spiced Hot Chocolate

- 1 glass milk (unsweetened, nut or regular milk are both ok)

- 2 tbsp organic 100% cocoa powder

- fresh ginger (about the size of your thumb or to taste)

- 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

- 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

- 1/4 tsp chilli powder

- Honey / sugar to taste (optional and preferably raw / unrefined)

- Rose petals (optional)


Place the almond milk in a glass container and grate the fresh ginger into it. Cover with the lid and refrigerate for 30 min - 1 hr (you can do your shaking + dancing rituals whilst this is sitting).

Heat the milk/ginger infusion in a small saucepan, bringing to a steady boil on medium heat or until the milk gets frothy around the edges.

Add 2 level tablespoons of cocoa powder, then add the nutmeg, cinnamon and chili powder. Stir continuously for 2-3 minutes to dissolve completely.

Serve hot, using a small strainer to separate the bits of grated ginger.

Float the rose petals on the top.