How to have emotionally safe sex

So you've heard of ‘safe sex’. Condoms are it, right? Maybe you’ve even got into the habit of asking the consensual other if you could both share test results before having unprotected sex. 👏

And this is great. It all keeps you biologically safe.

But what about the protection that your mind, heart and soul need when you want to have sex with another?

Can you count on one hand, two ...or is it more… the number of times you’ve:

  • Kissed someone when you weren’t ready

  • Hugged someone when you didn’t want to

  • Or slept with someone when you weren’t that into them, perhaps in the hopes that it would make you feel more alive in some way or at least you’d feel like a normal functioning human

Can you remember how you felt afterwards? 😔 Any one of the following come to mind: 

  • Disappointment – it wasn’t what you’d hoped

  • Disconnection from your body – if you just don’t let the yuckiness sink in and stay with you you can somehow disown the experience

  • Feeling scared or extra vulnerable after sex

  • Being left with the feeling that sex just isn’t that good and you don’t know why you even tried to do it in the first place

  • A feeling of rejection or disgust with yourself, the other person or sex in general

You’ve probably just had ‘emotionally unsafe sex.’ 😯

Never heard of it? That’s ‘cause we just don’t talk about it. 

But if you are looking to fall in love, it’s one of the worst things you can do as you’ll most likely experience a general closing down of your heart to love. 😶

Not to mention the effects it has on your body as it relates to lovemaking, even when you are with someone you want to be with. 

And so, in the interest of getting you fully ready to let love in, I’ve invited Emma Spiegler, expert in the subject and fellow Sex, Love and Relationships Coach to teach us: 

🍒 How to recognise what not feeling emotionally safe feels like in the body
🍒 How to make more informed decisions to know how to choose emotional safety
🍒 How to start to practice saying yes and no (even if it’s just a kiss)

So that when it comes down to falling in love you’ll feel strong and ready to dive in with an open heart that is, at the same time, deeply protected. ❤