sex

How to talk about sex in a new relationship

How to talk about sex in a new relationship

If you want to have good sex – to give pleasure and receive it – you need to communicate both your own wants, needs, and desires to your partner, and to ask them what works for them as well.
The myth that someone should just be able to ‘feel into you’ and if they can hit all your spots, they must be ‘the right one’ needs to die.

Tantra for beginners – sacred sex will change your life

Tantra for beginners – sacred sex will change your life

Tantra is a vast and beautiful tradition. And one I have been a part of for many years.

Tantra changed my life. It re-framed what it meant for me to be a woman, powerful and sexual at the same time.

It freed me to open to deeper states of pleasure. And to know myself like I’d never before.

And it has the potential to do the same for you.

Scheduling sex is not only normal…it’s sexy. Here's why.

Scheduling sex is not only normal…it’s sexy. Here's why.

Scheduling in sex (with your partner or yourself) makes it a ritual. And rituals are powerful.

Rituals bring meaning to the ordinary. As opposed to ‘habits’ which are done mindlessly.

Scheduled sex, sex that is ritual, is sex infused with deep meaning.

And it feels like magic.

3 ways to experience more pleasure (and less pain) in sex

3 ways to experience more pleasure (and less pain) in sex

When it comes to accessing your pleasure, all it takes is a shedding. A shedding of that which blocks you from feeling pleasure fully – or at all. 

Over the years, battle with the world, past relationships, rejections, sexual confusion, negative messaging from society and culture around sex and our sexiness is collected in our bodies. 

We build up a kind of protective shield like body armour to batten up our defences – and to stop us from feeling the yuck of all of that. 

Problem is, it also closes us off to the good stuff – the nuanced experience of exquisite sensuality – and from the experience of orgasm. 

So we end up feeling nothing at all in sex (with ourselves or with others). 

Or intense physical pain and discomfort during sex – exactly the opposite of what we hope to experience!

Good news is, you can learn to unlock your body and shed the armour you’ve built up. Peel off the layers. Feel sensations of pleasure and connection with ourselves and our partners.

Here are 3 ways to start the process of de-armouring your body: 

Breathe

Breathe into the parts of you that are stuck or numb or in pain. Imagine that the breath softens these places in you, relaxes them, and that you are breathing in space into your body.

Sound

Give voice to whatever you are feeling. Allow whatever sounds that want to emerge to come out. With no judgement on what or how it’s sounding. It’s all welcome.

Safety + Love

Reinforce a sense of safety and love in your body by reminding yourself that you are in fact safe (as long as this is true and you are physically and emotionally in a safe place.

Remind yourself that it is safe to feel. Safe to cry. Safe to be vulnerable. Safe to express whatever is there even if it doesn’t look or feel nice.

And love yourself for going there.

Feel into your heart as you repeat to yourself – You are safe. You are loved. I love you.

Remember that this is a journey that takes time. Every body is different. Every timeline is different. 

Know that whatever you experience, wherever you are with this, is exactly right. 

You are perfect. 

How to deepen intimacy + ask for what you want in bed

Bad s*x. Been there. Done that.

We pretty much all have.

Sue Sutherland​ of the Feel Institute talks to us about how to have GREAT s*x.

And she shares with us a simple game we can play with the people we are with so that we can have the experiences that we really want.

Sneak peak into the wisdom:

1. Know what you want – listen to that body of yours

2. Ask for it – be brave + bold!

3. Love yourself for doing so.


One (of the admittedly many) reasons why sex can end up being bad

Even with those that we love having sex with
Is when we say yes to doing something that we actually don’t want to do!

We consent.

Simply stated CONSENT = CHOICE

We choose to say YES to a touch or a closeness or something more
When all our body really wanted was for us to
Shout out an emphatic NO
Or a gentle firm NO
Or any NO at all.

Let’s just admit it: speaking up around sex, especially in intimate moments with someone new…or even someone you’ve been with for a very long time…

Can feel extremely scary. And weird.
We don’t want to kill a moment. Or offend someone.
Or seem inexperienced. Or awkward.

And yet, when you learn how to talk about what you want
Or don’t want in any moment

The chances of having bad sex every again diminish completely.
And the path to good sex

To amazzzzzing sex
Opens wide.

How to have better sex: connection + consent with Nichi Hodgson

How to have better sex: connection + consent with Nichi Hodgson

How to have better sex: connection + consent with Nichi Hodgson

I want you to jump from two feet into the bedroom, when you feel finally ready to be intimate with a certain someone you might have just started dating.

And not only that, I want you to have the best sex possible when you do.

And so, I wanted to break out this bit of a conversation from a video I had posted a few weeks back with Nichi Hodgson, journalist on all things sexy for the likes of the Guardian and Sky News that will help you to do so.You see, consent is key to connection. And connection is the key to great sex. Especially if you are new to dating someone. 

How to have emotionally safe sex

How to have emotionally safe sex

We’ve all heard of ‘safe sex’. And it’s super important to keeping you biologically safe.

But what about the protection that your mind, heart and soul need when you consider making love to another?

I’ve invited Emma Spiegler, expert in the subject and fellow Sex, Love and Relationships Coach to teach you:

🍒 How to recognise what not feeling emotionally safe feels like in the body

🍒 How to make more informed decisions to know how to choose emotional safety

🍒 How to start to practice saying yes and no (even if it’s just a kiss)

So that when it comes down to falling in love you’ll feel strong and ready to dive in with an open heart that is, at the same time, deeply protected.