The unrelenting stress of modern life has left many couples that I speak to (myself included) too exhausted for intimacy.
And in an era digital distraction, it’s hard to be fully present with our partners when we’re pulled left, right and centre by our devices, and stretched thin.
A microadventure, according to British adventurer and author Alastair Humphreys , is an adventure that is ‘short, simple, local, and cheap – yet still fun, exciting, challenging, refreshing and rewarding’.
It is about getting out of your comfort zone, doing what you do not normally do and ‘stretching yourself: mentally, physically or culturally.’ And I’d add, erotically.
Microadventures – including the erotic kind – sound to me, like the perfect option for Valentine-ing this year.
And doing this in microdoses, feels much more do-able.
Here are some ways:
Travel the World without Leaving Your Living Room: Choose a country or theme (Parisian cafe night, Italian gondola ride), evoke that place with a few small touches (simply shifting your kitchen table to a different position in the room, picking up some paper table cloths and lighting a candle or two can make a big difference), cook themed dishes (or order in), learn basic phrases like ‘I adore you’ in the chosen language, play music, and kiss like the French. Let your imagination transport you, it’s an incredibly powerful vehicle.
Erotic adventuring Play is a big part of adventuring and absolutely belongs in the bedroom. It involves fun, is hands-on, takes some risk-taking and your full presence. Try the 5 senses game. One person blindfolds the other and then surprises them by teasing their way through the 5 senses. Choose their favourite flavours (eg raspberries), put on music that your partner loves, wear a scent they go crazy for, play with different types of sensual touch, and wear something sexy – or nothing at all – for when the blindfold comes off at the end. Learning and laughing as you go brings a sense of lightness to the bedroom. And a sense of magic.
Spontaneous Mini Road Trip…Across Town Spontaneity awakens passion and excitement. Pick a lesser-known yet close destination that wants exploring, and hit the road for a micro-getaway. FYI I like to have at least one or two ‘back-up destinations’ lined up if I’m the planner, so that you don’t find that everything is spontaneously and surprisingly closed. And then from there branch off and explore the new neighbourhood as if it were a whole new city.
Additional Tips:
Focus on connection over perfection: The goal is to spend quality time together, not impress each other. Embrace spontaneity and unexpected moments.
Set expectations: Discuss your budget, any time considerations, and anything else to make it feel small enough to be achievable.
Make it an ongoing adventure: Turn microadventuring into a habit, exploring new places and activities throughout the year – Including erotic exploration.