From Microadventures to Mini-erotic explorations – Do-able, simple ways to keep things fresh in love

The unrelenting stress of modern life has left many couples that I speak to (myself included) too exhausted for intimacy. 

And in an era digital distraction, it’s hard to be fully present with our partners when we’re pulled left, right and centre by our devices, and stretched thin. 

A microadventure, according to British adventurer and author Alastair Humphreys , is an adventure that is ‘short, simple, local, and cheap – yet still fun, exciting, challenging, refreshing and rewarding’.

It is about getting out of your comfort zone, doing what you do not normally do and ‘stretching yourself: mentally, physically or culturally.’ And I’d add, erotically. 

Microadventures – including the erotic kind – sound to me, like the perfect option for Valentine-ing this year. 

And doing this in microdoses, feels much more do-able. 

Here are some ways: 

Travel the World without Leaving Your Living Room: Choose a country or theme (Parisian cafe night, Italian gondola ride), evoke that place with a few small touches (simply shifting your kitchen table to a different position in the room, picking up some paper table cloths and lighting a candle or two can make a big difference), cook themed dishes (or order in), learn basic phrases like ‘I adore you’ in the chosen language, play music, and kiss like the French. Let your imagination transport you, it’s an incredibly powerful vehicle.

Erotic adventuring Play is a big part of adventuring and absolutely belongs in the bedroom. It involves fun, is hands-on, takes some risk-taking and your full presence. Try the 5 senses game. One person blindfolds the other and then surprises them by teasing their way through the 5 senses. Choose their favourite flavours (eg raspberries), put on music that your partner loves, wear a scent they go crazy for, play with different types of sensual touch, and wear something sexy – or nothing at all – for when the blindfold comes off at the end. Learning and laughing as you go brings a sense of lightness to the bedroom. And a sense of magic.

Spontaneous Mini Road Trip…Across Town Spontaneity awakens passion and excitement. Pick a lesser-known yet close destination that wants exploring, and hit the road for a micro-getaway. FYI I like to have at least one or two ‘back-up destinations’ lined up if I’m the planner, so that you don’t find that everything is spontaneously and surprisingly closed. And then from there branch off and explore the new neighbourhood as if it were a whole new city.

Additional Tips:

• Focus on connection over perfection: The goal is to spend quality time together, not impress each other. Embrace spontaneity and unexpected moments.

• Set expectations: Discuss your budget, any time considerations, and anything else to make it feel small enough to be achievable.

• Make it an ongoing adventure: Turn microadventuring into a habit, exploring new places and activities throughout the year –  Including erotic exploration.

The 4 Attachment styles: Discover yours – and change it

“What do you mean I’m avoidant…I’d do ANYTHING…for a relationship right now. 

Avoiding one is the last thing I’m doing, it’s just that…”

And herein would begin the looooooong list of reasons why it was so hard to find love, the right kind of love. 
From…There just aren’t that many single guys my age out there anymore. 

To a list of expectations that a potential partner have x, y and z all in place when he first appears in front of me, otherwise I’m not going to waste my time on another dead-end date. 
The actual reasons why I was single for so many years sat much deeper within me. And learning about my main attachment style (avoidant) was like a wake-up call to it. 

Turns out that it all wasn’t so black and white, however. 
Because the minute someone ticked a good number of my boxes and showed a possible interest in me, this love ‘avoidant’ shifted swiftly over into the ‘anxious attacher’ mode. 
I’d begin to ask myself an incessant stream of questions like: 

Would he call again? Would there be a second date? What if he moved back to…what if I moved back to…what if it worked out…what if it didn’t.

Sound familiar? 

Turns out many of us exhibit a mash-up of styles when it comes to attachment and love. 

In this post, I’ll cover some of the main characteristics of the four different attachment styles. And how your style might show up in how you date and experience love. 

The 4 attachment styles

Avoidant attachers

• Appear independent, confident, and self-sufficient and avoid strong displays of closeness and intimacy.

• Will let you be around them, but will not let you in as they have difficulty sharing intimate details of their lives.

• As soon as things get serious they tend to close themselves off and start drifting off and distancing themselves or

• Begin to find faults with their partner or get annoyed by them. 

• They believe that they do not need emotional intimacy in their lives.

Anxious attachers

• Harbor strong fears of rejection or abandonment, have low self-esteem and need reassurance that they are loved, worthy, and good enough.

• Appear clingy, desperate, preoccupied as relationships might be both ‘life-saving’ and ‘life-threatening’ and can feels like you are on an emotional roller-coaster ride all the time

• The presence of a romantic partner appears to be a remedy for strong emotional needs

• Blinded by potential partners and put them on a pedestal choosing not to see what’s really there, have difficulty discerning and go on too many dates when writing is on the wall.

• Intensely jealous or suspicious of their partners and are insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship.

Disorganised attachers

• People who have been physically, verbally, or sexually abused in their childhood struggle to trust others and develops when the child’s caregivers – the only source of safety – become a source of fear.

• Moves between and lives aspects of both avoidant and anxious styles

• Desires love and acceptance but at the same time holds a deep fear that those closest to them will hurt them

• Believes that rejection, disappointment, and hurt in relationships are expected and inevitable – it’s just a matter of when

• Holds a negative view of themselves, others and the world around them 

Secure attachers

• Stays around long enough to understand whether the person is right for them or not by regulating emotions and feelings and holds an inherent optimism and positivity.

• Knows when to call it quits if the other person doesn’t rise to meet them e.g. asks the avoidant to make more time and share more; asks the anxious attacher to self-hold around fear of being left or unloved. 

• Knows how to connect and communicate clearly and open up and share feelings vulnerably when things feel off. Comfortable with closeness and mutual support and dependency. And also time alone for personal exploration.

• Knows what they are about in life, their impact and the purpose they want to fulfill outside of the relationship whilst also recognizing the value and importance of intimate connection and healthy relationships. 

• Strong capacity to reflect on how they are being in a relationship and make shifts and changes to strengthen love and inspire desire. 

Go deeper

Questions for contemplation: 

• Which of these four attachment styles feel most congruent with your experience of dating and love?

• Can you recognise the attachment style of those you have dated or had a relationship with? 

• How might being aware of attachment styles begin to shift how you date, love or relate to others? 
  

Work with me

Work with me one-to-one or check out my group coaching programme Roadmap to Relationships where you learn powerful tools and practices to move into a more secure way of relating.

It still does feel a bit ironic that I had a predominantly ‘avoidant’ attachment style when love was the thing that I wanted most in my life. 

The good news is, I changed it. Found love. And am still in it. And so can you. 

Further reading:

If you want to read and learn more on Attachment Theory then I recommend these excellent resources which informed this post:

The Attachment Project

Polysecure by Jessica Fern

You don't have to lose your independence (or power) to be in a relationship

One of the biggest fears that I hear from strong, independent women is that they’ll have to give up their independence if they are in a relationship.

They say this with such a fierce determination and defensiveness that I can’t help but feel beneath their words.

I feel fear that with that loss of independence, they’ll also lose their power.

I’m writing this post at the time of the harvest moon. The Autumn Equinox.

There’s a bit of a chill to the air and a sparkling sunshine that warms my face and softens that edge just a little. What perfect balance.

Balance is what yesterday’s Equinox, which marked the shift from one season to the next, is all about.

And balance in relationships, and the power balance in particular is what I’ve been exploring in Jade Bliss and with my private coaching clients.

How can we feel power ‘with’ a potential partner. And what does that look like exactly?

As a woman who’s empowered and independent, what does inter-dependence look like when she’s no longer single?

• What does power feel like?

• How might our sense of it shift when we’re in an intimate relationship?

• What space wants to be created in body, heart and mind to allow for the WITH without losing any of the I or me

We’ve been brought up on power OVER

• Countless generations of women who’ve had to submit / give up / sacrifice for marriage and partnership

• Patriarchy outside of the home, which in so many forms which serves no one well – men included

• Competition from a young age at school and having survival of the fittest instilled in our beings

I’ll admit it, it’s taken my body a minute this week to adjust to longer nights as the sun rises later in the day. 

The harvest moon, full bright and powerful this month made me extra jittery and disrupted my normally solid sleep pattern. 

Balancing is taking a minute when it comes to understanding power as a woman in an intimate relationship.

And so might it with you. 

Perhaps get pencil to paper

And then set body to movement

As you ponder the question :

'How does 'power with' feel in you: body heart soul energy?'

It’s a new season for humankind.

Here is one more turning of the dial.

How will you live it? In love as in life?

So that you can have independence and feel empowered within relationship.

Whilst benefitting from the potential for growth in a healthy, intimate relationship as you experience steady support in becoming even more powerful than you were on your own.

We’re not here to do it alone.

And whilst togetherness does not have to come through intimate relationships, it is a beautiful and life-changing thing when it does.

The most important career decision you’ll ever make is who to love. Here’s why.

If you are single, then making time to date and to manage the emotional rollercoaster of ghosting, catfishing, breadcrumbing, bench warming, etc., etc., can feel superfluous and annoyingly distracting when there are ‘more important’ work demands to deal with.

According to the latest research, you may be leaving money on the table, promotions and recognition, and the personal gratification that comes with career wins from meaningful work.

“Sheryl Sandberg, Bill and Melinda Gates, Warren Buffett, and my mother all agree on one thing – “that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is.””

— Sheryl Sandberg

In truth, all relationships require time (our greatest asset in today’s world of ‘busy’), energy and attention in order to first exist – and then to grow.

Sheryl Sandberg, Bill and Melinda Gates, Warren Buffett, and my mother all agree on one thing – "that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is."

And so the investment that you make not only in finding the right mate but also in cultivating that relationship holds a bigger potential return for our career growth than we initially imagine. 

“Evidence is mounting from sociological research that when both partners dedicate themselves to work and to home life, they reap benefits such as increased economic freedom, a more satisfying relationship, and a lower-than-average chance of divorce.”

— Jennifer Petriglieri

We can lose sight of this possibility when we have a hard time envisaging how we’ll ever manage it all. You might see friends in a relationship or who are a single parents, facing the demands of balancing career growth and and family responsibilities including kids, ageing parents and intimate partnership. In truth, it is extremely challenging. 

A recent McKinsey study found that ‘89 percent of women and 70 percent of men are part of a dual-career couple (DCC)—a couple in which both partners have jobs. These couples come from all racial and ethnic groups and from all income levels.’(1)

Yet ‘evidence is mounting from sociological research that when both partners dedicate themselves to work and to home life, they reap benefits such as increased economic freedom, a more satisfying relationship, and a lower-than-average chance of divorce.(2)’

“Meaningful work provides intrinsic rewards beyond dollar signs that are valuable for people and their identity.”

— Adrienne Partridge

Notes colleague and friend Adrienne Partridge, ‘Meaningful work provides intrinsic rewards beyond dollar signs that are valuable for people and their identity.’ Adrienne should know. She’s leadership and career coach who studied women's career choices for her doctoral research in psychology and has worked with high-achieving professional women for years.

When we are with a partner who supports us, who is there to encourage us to take risks at work and helps us to feel safe moving beyond our comfort zone, we show up with greater confidence and the assurance that we need to go there. Psychologist John Bowlby’s groundbreaking work in attachment theory calls this form of support in intimate relationships a ‘secure base’.

Even still, coming together to align on aspirations for career and desires for home life is complicated.

So how do couples do it? And how can you?

Explore the options, get clear on what you want – and why – and communicate it.

Jennifer Petriglieri, an associate professor of organizational behavior at INSEAD proposes three basic models to consider when determining balancing work and life for dual-career couples (2): 

(1) In primary-secondary, one partner’s career takes priority over the other’s for the duration of their working lives. The primary person dedicates more time to work and less to the family, and his or her professional commitments (and geographic requirements) usually come before the secondary person’s. 

(2) In turn taking, the partners agree to periodically swap the primary and secondary positions. 

(3) In double-primary, they continually juggle two primary careers.

The model that feels right for you will ultimately be the one that aligns most with your values. 

As I’ve mentioned, for many dual-career couples, personal identity and meaning are intrinsic in what they have chosen for a career path. At the same time, ideas about what makes for a ‘good’ home life including what’s right for children and in caring for ageing parents can change.

“Balance is a misnomer. Things are not always going to be in perfect balance.”

— Adrienne Partridge

Clear, open communication on what you want from the dating stage onwards is key

Know that the model that feels right for you now may shift over time. And so establishing clear, open communication channels right from the onset beginning with dating, is fundamental to the success of a dual-career relationship. 

It’s as important to open up about fears and what your boundaries are, as much as it is to express what you value and why. 

This can feel quite scary. Especially if you are not used to feeling vulnerable.   

And yet it’s in this space that opportunity for deep connection and understanding happen. 

When you voice your needs, and consider those of the other, then it’s from this space of mutual understanding that solutioning can happen. 

As a couple, work together to craft a plan that considers each of your needs, desires and ambition based on shared values. Consider the role that you’ll take in each other’s lives. Get clear on the responsibilities and expectations that come along with that role. And keep on talking about what works and what wants tweaking. 

When the going gets tough, remember this

It’s going to get messy. Articles like this can make it all seem easy. We’ve just got to get clear on what we want, have a conversation, take action, and boom, it’s done. 

Know that one of the main reasons we’re in relationships is to grow and to learn. And like anything else this learning, whether it’s about how best to communicate complex feelings or how to understand what is truly important to you and why, can look and feel uncomfortable. And that’s ok. 

It’s worth it.

Let’s come back to the point on why having the right partner is advantageous for career success. When you have a partner that supports you in challenging yourself, in stepping outside of your comfort zone, in staying by you as you do so, you feel more capable of stepping into the danger zone and taking that risk necessary to grow into a promotion or take on new responsibilities.

It feels great to be supported in this way – and to be that same support for your partner when they need. 

“When we are with a partner who supports us, who is there to encourage us to take risks at work and helps us to feel safe moving beyond our comfort zone, we show up with greater confidence and the assurance that we need to go there. ”

— Andrea Balboni

This is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

After all, I believe that we’re all here to grow and evolve into the brightest versions of ourselves possible in all areas of our lives. And we’re not meant to do that alone. 

Finding the right person for such an important partnership is essential.

Whether you are single and struggling to find the right person, or in a relationship and feel you could do with some support, I can help. Contact me and we’ll talk about how.

1. https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/organization/our-insights/how-dual-career-couples-find-fulfillment-at-work#

2. https://hbr.org/2019/09/how-dual-career-couples-make-it-work

What you need to know about makeup sex – the good, the bad and the ugly

Is it good to have sex right after a massive fight?

Does it feel kind of right and kind of wrong at the same time?

Here’s what happens when we do it. Why we do it. And how it might actually help you – and your relationship.

What is makeup sex, anyway?

Makeup sex is when you go from arguing or fighting fiercely with your intimate partner to having intense, passionate sex with them. 

Lots of people experience it – you if you have too, you are so not alone. 

It may seem perplexing that you can go from wanting to draw blood one minute to ravaging each other the next. But there are a few reasons – from the from psychological to the physiological – as to why that is. 

Whilst makeup sex can do some good for your relationship, there are some very important things to be aware of if you want to create a healthy way of being with one another. 

Why does it happen?

There are a few different reasons why makeup sex might happen. 

‘Excitation transfer’ is the psychological term that describes the shift of emotions from strike-to-kill anger to strong never-wanted-it-more sexual desire in the mere flash.  

When excitation transfer happens, emotional responses like the desire for closeness or reconciliation through sex can be intensified by initial arousal felt from a heated argument or full-on fight. 

In other words, your body’s response to the high emotions triggered in the dramatic moments of a fight, fuel the flame of the experience. 
To confuse your body, heart and mind even more, the hormones released when you’re threatened – adrenaline, noradrenaline, and testosterone – are the same ones that surge through you when you’re turned on. 

What are the benefits of makeup sex?

The possibility of losing the person that you love or being rejected or left by them as a result of a fight, can cause your body to go into overdrive. 

And even if you come to a reconciliation, your emotions are likely still charged.  Your physical body will still be holding onto the tension together with the chemicals coursing through it.

When we’re highly stressed, our bodies need to experience a physical release of the tension that’s built up so that we can come back into balance. 

The physical act of sex can allow you to do just that. Sex can be a substitute for the actual movement like ‘shaking it off’ that our body does naturally to stabilize us after a traumatic event. 

Resolution + Closure

Makeup sex is a way to affirm that you still love and care for one another when you can’t find the words for all of the messiness and confusion of the mixed feelings you are having. 

It can be comforting to affirm that we are loved and accepted still by our partner, even though we just had a massive fight. 

Makeup sex offers a way for you both to come together with the understanding that things will be resolved.

It allows your emotional heart a place to express the mixed emotions you likely feel. 

Reveals resentments

Whilst it’s highly advised to develop a healthier way of communicating than through shouting and screaming, blow-ups can bring to light resentments. 

Your partner might be frustrated by the fact that you never share your feelings. And relieved to hear you finally say what you mean and ask for what you need. 

If they make it ok for you to do this by accepting what you’ve shared (though perhaps not enjoying the way you’ve shared it) then moving forward you may be more apt to be outspoken and assertive in the relationship.

Making a claim to needs and desires is very healthy for someone who never does this. 

Widens your sexual experience

Makeup sex might also change the sex you have as you allow parts of yourself to come forward and be seen. This could show itself as being more assertive in bed by asking for what you want, taking the lead or being on top for once. 

It’s beautiful to be able to experience both leading and following in sex and changing up your role / energy can feel exciting and fresh. 

What are the risks of makeup sex? 

Fighting as de-facto communication

It’s not necessarily beneficial to get in the habit of down and dirty fighting to feel that you can say what you want. Or to ask for what you want in bed.

It is important to develop a true sense of safety and security in your relationship so that you can share deep truths and not feel that your life is threatened when you do so. 

Depending on the experiences you’ve had in your life with speaking from your heart and being heard, loved and celebrated for it (if you’re one of these fortunate few, congratulations), this may feel easy or impossibly difficult.

You might want to consider getting some professional support should you wonder what other options there are aside from raising your voice, withdrawing completely, appeasing the other or just simply ‘taking it’. 

False resolution

The reason why you were fighting in the first place may still need resolving. Just because you’ve had sex, doesn’t mean that for both of you the conflict is no longer there.  

It is best worked through from a space that is calm and grounded for both of you.

Where you both take responsibility and ownership for your part in the conflict.

Bad sex makes it worse

Makeup sex isn’t always hot. Nor does it always leave you feeling better or more connected afterwards.

In fact, it can make things worse. If you’ve not gotten your needs met and feel tender and vulnerable, then opening yourself up further to your partner when you are not yet ready will exacerbate things.

Take the time you need to recover and come back into balance on your own. Exercise and movement to shake off the tension and bring you back down might be just what you need.

Space to work through the complex emotional experience you’ve just had could be the perfect thing.

What to do instead

The things that want looking at in you and your relationship will keep coming back until you work through them. 

Learning how to have open, clear communication in conversations about difficult topics is a great place to start – especially if you’re tired of fighting.

This can take a bit of work as we’re not normally taught how to do this. It’s one of the most important things that I work on with my clients.

That and learning what your triggers are – and how to hold yourself through the emotional rollercoaster that results when you get really pissed off .

These are superpowers that I learned from many wisened teachers who have come before me. If you feel like you’d love support in developing these next-level relationship skills, send me a message and we’ll talk about how.

How to fall in love with a nice guy

Women often come to me saying that they don’t want to settle. 

But every time they meet a guy who’s perfectly nice, they just don’t feel the spark. 

Or they just don’t feel like they can trust him – he’s just too nice. 

If this is you, you might be keeping yourself from creating a healthy relationship – one that is not only sexy, exciting and alive – but also stands the test of time.

Or you might be doing exactly the right thing.

Here’s the real difference between ‘nice guys’ and ‘bad boys’ – and what you want instead.

When it’s about him 

If your ‘nice guy’ is a ‘yes man’, then no, he can not be trusted. And nope, ‘yes men’ are certainly not sexy.

Yes men are people pleasers.

They’ll do or say anything to win your affection or draw you in. 

A yes man will tell you want you want to hear, and it may not necessarily be what he actually thinks or feels. 
You feel he can’t be trusted because you’re left wondering what’s really going on beneath the surface. You might even wonder what may come out of the closet and surprise you later down the line.

Yes men lack boundaries.

Hence women feeling like they can ‘walk all over them.’

This is not at all appealing for a woman who knows her worth. She’s not into power plays, but wants a healthy relationship where there’s mutual respect and understanding. 

Therefore this type of yes man is uninteresting. An empowered woman wants to be held accountable for her views and opinions. She wants to be challenged to be the best that she can be. And for this she needs a powerful man who’s not afraid to say what he sees in her – when she’s doing great. And where there are blind spots. Even if some things are hard to hear, he finds a way to say them so that it feels supportive and constructive. 

A yes man doesn’t know his own worth.

He may honestly love you, but he doesn’t love himself enough to give this love in a healthy way. He overcompensates, is over-giving and over-available. This feels uninteresting.  

The antithesis of the ‘nice guy’ is the ‘bad boy’. But this guy too, as we know, is also flawed. 

When it’s about you

Why we go for the ‘bad boy’ instead 

His kind of love (or lack thereof) feels familiar. Literally. 

Some women are used to love and affection feeling just out of reach. This may be what you experienced from your parents or caretakers, who were often absent, busy or just not available enough. 

We look to heal this breach in adulthood – to find someone that we can get to give us the attention we never got as a kid. We hope to convert the person. To get them to love us. 

But in reality, they are unable to love like we need them to in the first place. 
Don’t trust honest, open, healthy displays of love + affection because you are not used to them. 

We love the ‘bad boys’ because they let us explore a part of us that has been suppressed 

You know that you don’t have to be on their best behaviour with a guy who’s a rebel. And you allow your own ‘bad girl’ to come out. 

In childhood girls are often taught to be ‘good’. And our rebellious nature is repressed. You therefore might feel a childlike glee and joy in doing what’s forbidden. And this can fuel the flames of desire. It feeds excitement. 

The ‘wild’ in you has been condemned by our society and culture

And yet raw, uninhibited desire is a natural part of being human. Women who express freely this part of themselves are often stigmatised and judged. If a woman senses that she’s going to be given a chance to express this deep innate part of her sexuality, she’s going to be drawn to someone that she feels will receive this with open arms and enjoy it. 

The drama in another distracts us from ourselves. 

The bad boy gives us a project that needs ‘fixing’. 

Women often get validated as care-takers, fixers, healers and learn at an early age that we’re good if we do this. Fixing gives a sense of worth and purpose. 

The only problem is that these guys don’t necessarily want to change. Or to be fixed. And so over time a woman can become submissive rather than nurturing, when the one she wants to change either won’t or ‘just can’t’. 

External drama keeps the focus on the external. On him. On the drama in the relationship that always seems to be there. On what’s going on outside of you.

When the storm outside is quiet because you’re with someone who is balanced and healthy, then there’s no distraction. It gives space for introspection and turning the focus inwards. 

In doing so we are asked to face our own strife, storms and drama that we hold within.

How to break the cycle

Learn to trust the guys who are actually nice – and available. 

Recognise what’s actually playing out for you. 

Which of the above sounds true? What patterns are you playing out over and over again in dating and relationships? 

Saying no to Yes Men is a good thing. 

But letting go of an actual healthy, empowered man is another. 

A guy in his power won’t necessarily fight for your attention or affection. He knows his worth. He doesn’t need to prove it in grand displays. 
And he’s not interested in fighting for power over you either. He has enough of that within himself. He isn’t interested in taking yours. 

He won’t ‘take it’ either. He’ll let you know what’s cool. And what isn’t. He’ll expect you to own your emotions, your feelings and accept responsibility for what’s yours.
He’ll celebrate your strength. And challenge you to be more than you are. 

And he’ll also lean back so that you can show up wild, free and full of life. But without the drama.

Know yourself and take care of her

He expects you to know how to manage your own storms within. To know yourself enough so that you can recognise what’s going on inside. And own what is yours. 

He’s available to listen as you express yourself clearly and with grace, even if it feels difficult. 

This doesn’t mean you need to hide your emotions. It means understanding why you are feeling a certain way by asking yourself what is really going on with you. And why you’ve had such a strong reaction. 

And from that place of self-knowing, sharing with him what you are experiencing and why. 

If you struggle with understanding ‘your part’ and why you actually feel the way that you feel, then coaching can be a powerful way for you to gain insight into what’s really going on. Connect with me and I’ll help you to navigate your own inner world.

Live out the parts of you that want living.

Do you feel caged in by life? By how you are with friends and family? Is there a part of you that wants expressing so that you can feel more free in your life. And perhaps your sexuality. 

Accept these parts of you. Celebrate them. Love them. Let them breathe. 

Relationships can feel easy. And exciting. And wild. And fun. 

And safe too. Learn to be ok with the unfamiliar. Allow yourself to receive the love and affection that comes your way. 

Love like this might look different than what you’re used to – and thank goddess for that.