So here’s some heartbreaking news for anyone lookin’ for love online (like EVERYONE these days) –
💔 Dating apps are designed specifically to keep you single.
UUuurrrgg as if it wasn’t hard enough to find some lovin’ in the world.
Now we have tech that we thought would help you in the 💏 department actually KEEPING you from love.
My blood is boiling….
Good news is, you can beat apps at their own game.
And I found out how. From a pro.
😎 Nichi Hodgson is an online dating expert (and a bunch of other incredible things, like writing for the Guardian, Times, BBC..the list is long...on all things Sex, Love + Relationships).
She’s got an insider’s view into how dating apps work, having been employed by several of them.
Nichi told me how to be the tech + find love on (and off) line. Watch the vid for the full story.
Top 3 Tips are listed here:
⭐Limit your swiping to 5-9 times
Don’t go above 9 or you’ll go into cognitive overload + overwhelm.
Just work with those first 9 profiles.
(OMG only 9?!?! I’ve swiped for HOURS in my day...and yes, wanted to kill myself by the end of it)
⭐ After 7 minutes - 10 minutes (a day) go off the app
Get a few people that you have a chat going w/ focus on those.
Sound similar to the first tip? It is!!
Swiping is a repetitive motion that mesmerizes. It keeps you on the app longer than you need to be and can become a bit addictive.
⭐Forgive your date if they get right on the app after they’ve met you!
Remember: the swiping is just a habit. A compulsive behavior reinforced by the app creators.
⭐ Delete the app asap
If you find someone you kind of like, delete the app asap. This helps prevent you from getting hooked on the endless options.
Share your phone number (I know, you’re thinking..is that safe?) Well the person can’t find out where you live based on your phone number. And you can always block them.
Full reveal: Both Nichi + I found our long-term partners online. But it wasn’t as a result of beating the tech (though that can help).
We’d both worked through our stuff in therapy + coaching, and this is what made the difference. Significant internal shifts got us to where we are now – happy in love (and still continuing the ‘inner work’ in this new context).
😉 If you still struggle to find love and can’t quite figure out why, both of us are coaches.
You can PM me here.
And write to Nichi here: http://nichihodgson.com/contact/
Nichi also recommends reading this book
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love Paperback by Rachel Heller + Amir Levine
It'll help you understand why you might be struggling to find love.
You're going to get there...I promise!!