Lube changed my life.
It really did.
It took the pressure off of me and my body to produce enough self-generated fluid on-demand.
And allowed me to relax into pleasure waaaaaay more.
And so considering how important lube has been to enhancing my pleasure under the sheets, I decided to invite lube creator and expert Kathie Bishop to tell you all about it.
Here is her wisdom.
Live, Love, Lube
Using a lube should be a good experience, and these days there are so many to choose from you don’t need to put up with anything sticky, staining or irritating. So when buying a lube here’s several questions that may come to mind that can help you find the best one for you:
Why would you want to use a lube?
Using lube is great choice for solo or partnered play because it can reduce painful friction that otherwise may disrupt your enjoyment. But more than that, for vagina owners, penetration of a minimally lubricated vagina can cause micro-abrasions and trauma to the delicate vaginal tissues, making them more susceptible to opportunistic infection by candida, bacterial vaginosis-causing bacteria, STIs or HIV. And this is where choosing a good lube can come in handy - because after all, everything is better with (the right) lube!
If I need lube a lot does it mean I'm not turned on enough / like the person I'm with enough?
There are many reasons that as a vagina owner you can be turned on, but not producing as much lubricant vaginally as you would like or expect. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s totally normal and there is nothing wrong with you. Some reasons could include stress, your hydration levels, your hormone levels (your point in the cycle and being postpartum come into it here), and any medications you’re on - anti-histamines and some antidepressant medication are great examples that can dry out mucosa. What’s really important here is that you feel aligned in consent around the person you are about to be intimate with.
I used to never need lube and now I feel like I do. What's going on?
Our bodies change over time. Hormone levels affect vaginal and vulval tissue, as well as levels of lubrication, and stress can affect our hormone levels. Peri-menopause, which can start from around 40 years of age, is marked by a gradual decline in oestrogen levels as we head towards menopause, and this impacts vaginal lubrication too. It can feel confusing, but know that it’s totally normal, natural and nothing to feel shame around.
Is lube ok to eat / lick?
Most lubricant companies wouldn’t advertise out-right that you eat their products, but if you do end up ingesting some over the course of your natural play, then thats absolutely fine. See the ‘Is natural important to you?’ section below. The vaginal mucosa is naturally very absorbent so you may want to reframe that question to ask yourself whether you’re happy to put something into your vagina that you wouldn’t be happy putting in your mouth!
Do I need lube if I self-pleasure?
'Need’ would definitely be a strong word but a good amount of lubrication, whether self produced or gladly added will enhance or even make your experience, ensuring a smoother, more pleasure-filled feeling.
To learn even more about lube, and find answers to questions such as: Do I need a different type of lube if I'm using a toy versus sex with a condom versus no protection with a trusted partner?
(Hint: the answer is Yes!), Visit Part 2 of this series All about lube here.
Kathie Bishop MNIMH is a medical herbalist and the founder of Into the Wylde, an award winning natural intimate lubricant brand that is registered with the Vegan Society and The Soil Association.
She also runs the clinic The Wylde Herbalist, where she helps women transform their vaginal health. She firmly believes that lube is for every women, not just around and beyond menopause, and that everything is better with right one.