Love junkie or love cynic? This could be stopping you from being in (true) love.

There are some that are addicted to the fantasy of love. These are the Romantics. They believe wholeheartedly in an idealised relationship. A starry-eyed kind of love that looks and feels like it does in the movies. 🤩

You just need to find ‘the one’.

And with this perfect other, everything is easy and breezy and good and makes us feel whole.

….Wait, what?!....

I was chatting with Shelby Leigh, and listening in quiet disbelief as she described her most recent work in a decade-long career as a somatic psychotherapist, meditation teacher and certified coach.

Was Shelby seriously telling me that there are people out there that still believe the myth of Romanticism? 🙀

Maybe you, dear reader, are one of these tender hearted optimistic people.

If so, I’d love to hear from you.  

You see, I’m more used to the words of the ‘love cynics’. Those who have come to resign themselves to the fact that there is most likely not a ‘one.’ They believe more in the chance (maybe it’s even their deepest fear) that there is actually NO one out there for them. 😶

In fact, if you are like I was, single for what feels like forEVER, you’d definitely be more convinced that NO one is the only ‘one’ you might ever know.

And perhaps have even begun to resign yourself to that fact.

Anyway, all of your friends in relationships just complain about them anyway. So you wonder whether or not it’s even worth it to stay subscribed to this newsletter.

Well, I’ve invited Shelby to tell us about her experience working with the Romantics, or ‘love junkies’ as she calls them. Because what she’s learned about helping them find love applies to us cynics as well. 🧐⚡

As is mentioned in this wonderful article, ‘How Romanticism Ruined Love’, from the School of Life,

“We need to piece together a post-Romantic theory of couples, because in order to make a relationship last we almost have to be disloyal to the Romantic emotions that get us into it in the first place.

The idea of being ‘post-Romantic’ shouldn’t imply cynicism; that one has abandoned the hope of relationships ever working out well. The post-Romantic attitude is just as ambitious about good relationships, but it has a very different sense of how to honour the hopes.”

In this video Shelby and I discuss how you can begin to form a beautiful relationship full of love that lasts over time whilst knowing that nothing is ever perfect.

And perhaps it’s the imperfection itself that is what is exactly right for us. 😌

You’ll learn some simple practices that Shelby uses with her clients to great effect.

So much so that even as ‘love junkies’ fall once again into love, they stumble along with the best of us having learned how to navigate the sometimes turbulent, sometimes blissful waters of real love. 🐳