The other night I went out swing dancing with some friends. I love the place we go to as there’s a live swing band playing some of my favourite music from another time and place.
The crowd is a real mix of people. Hipsters twirl together with old timers dressed in finery from another era – it can really take you to another place.
I accepted a dance from one of my favourite gentlemen in the place. He must be at least 80 years old or so and he is a fantastic lead.
And I am a fantastic follower.
But this didn’t happen overnight.
You see, it took me quite some time to learn the delicate balance of give / take in the dance. And what my part as a follower would be in it.
My part is to know my steps. But even more important than this is to listen carefully to the journey that the lead is creating. He has in his mind from one moment to the next what shapes we’ll create and what movements we’ll swing into. And if I didn’t listen carefully, our togetherness breaks.
It took me a long time to learn to follow because most of my life (which was me, single and dancing alone) I was the lead.
And in many ways, I liked it this way. I decided what to do when and how. At work. At play.
But it was also exhausting.
I wondered what life might look like, and how the dance would be if there was someone else there with me. 😌
What if they were leading (frightening thought) even if just for a few moments. What would that look like?
What if they messed up?
What if I messed up?
What if I couldn’t follow?
What if I didn’t like where they were going? Or how they were getting there?
And what would I be as a (lowly) follower? 🤨
I was reminded when dancing with my wonderful octogenarian lead, what it was like to be on the receiving end of a man who knows where he’s going and what he’s doing.
I could relax into the moment. I closed my eyes, let by body listen to the sensitive yet clear signalling of his hands in mine, and dropped completely into the music and the moment. Bliss! ✨
Was I perfect? No! I messed up loads of times. And threw my head back in laughter (even to be able to do this – laugh at the mess-ups especially when there was another person involved – took lots of years of practice).
What about him? Patiently and with an amused smile, my lead would get us back on track with that clear, constant signalling of a slight shift of his hand in mine. He had it covered. 🎩
If you give a man the chance, they will add pleasure to your life. And be so happy to do so. Because when they care about you, even just a little, your pleasure is magic to them.
But learning to receive gifts from gentlemen (and even sometimes their lead) takes training. 🧘
In fact, for women, learning to receive ANYTHING from just about anyone, is not easy. Tonight I’ll talk about why this is.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN
In this video I teach you 3 simple ways to begin to receive more easily in life. Especially from men.
So that when a man steps up to give to you, whether that be a simple invitation to dance, or even just to hold open the door, you are ready to receive this gift of pleasure into your life. And know the power in it. For both of you.