3 simple ways to experience more healthy blissful pleasure daily

I invite you to give yourself radical permission to experience more pleasure – in both big and small ways – daily. 

This is so that you live and love to your fullest – dating feels easier, relationships and connection flow more, and you’ll experience a greater sense of wholeness, nourishment and satisfaction. 

Often we are resistant to pleasure. It can feel unfamiliar to allow ourselves to fully go there.

Or like an indulgence that, if experienced too much, might somehow be unsafe or dangerous. 

These narratives of course, are counter to the numerous studies that have proven how pleasure is immeasurably good for our bodies, hearts and minds.

So to get you started, here are a few small ways to get on the path to pleasure:

Surround yourself with small pleasure-providing ‘objects’

And pick them up throughout the day

Gather items that engage your sense of touch in a beautiful way and place them around the rooms of your home. When you pass them by, take a minute to stroke your forearms or your face with a texture that feels good.

Simple objects that work great for this: 

Feathers: Keep some feathers (peacock / ostrich / a feather boa) in a vase on your desk

Silks (faux or otherwise) : and satin-like scarves

Furs (faux or otherwise) : a soft fluffy rug to run your feet through as you sit at your desk during the day is an easy way to get a hit of pleasure

2 minute sunrise / sunset touch to connect with your body 

Build your heart / womb connection and experience the nourishing pleasure of wholeness

Open and close your day with 2 minutes of connected conscious touch. Set snooze on your alarm for 2 minutes in the morning and a timer in the evening before you drop off to sleep. 

Use these 90 seconds to connect with your body gently in the following way: 

A simple gesture of erotic love to self is to place one hand on your heart and the other at your sex centre at the level of your womb. 

Send the love from your heart down through your body to your womb. 

Pick up nourishing soft womb energy and send this energy mixed with the love from your heart right back up your body completing a love circle. 

Set a pomodoro ‘pleasure timer’  and dance, dance, dance

And take lots of mini-breaks to move your body throughout the day

When I co-work with other women via Zoom, we use the pomodoro method to keep a rhythm with work that ensures we focus and also get breaks. On those 5 minute breaks, we put on some music and move our bodies in whatever way feels good. 

Movement is key to keeping energy flowing throughout your body. 

And dance brings joy…and yes, pleasure. 

I would argue that the future of work is to do what feels most exciting, joyful and blissful in our bodies, hearts and minds. 

Love has already worked this out.

If you struggle to find love, or are in a relationship and could use some support with experiencing more pleasure in it, send me a message. I can help.

6 ways to feel more feminine – connect with the Queen within

When we play in the space of the feminine with the purpose of amplifying more of her within us, it can be extremely helpful to tap into the different ways that she shows up in the world and move from those set points or archetypes.

You can think of an archetype as a description or typology of the feminine as it manifests or is expressed in the world. Simply put, archetypes represent the many ways that feminine energy shows up in the world. 

In the 6 archetypes expressed below*, you may recognise aspects of yourself that you express easily. 

And others that feel foreign or ‘just not you’. I challenge you to play in the space of each of these and expand into your potential to uniquely express each.  

In actual fact, all of the ways of ‘woman’ already exist within you. It’s just that some aspects are expressed and realised more fully than others. 

Now is your chance to expand into more of you and the feminine aspect you hold within. 

Queen of Love – The Romantic

She is sensual and soft and moves through the cycles of life with easy pleasure. She has deep passion and easy beauty that comes from the inside out. She’s a dreamer and a creative visioner of what could be. 

She is pure love, warmth, innocence and has a heart that’s full and ready to give. She receives gestures of love of all forms with grace and goodness. 

She captivates and draws love in through her sweet effervescence. 

Queen of Power – The Huntress

She is at once fiercely independent, a natural leader in life and an incredible partner in love. 

She is not afraid to take risks and is naturally confident in decision making. 

She knows who and what she is, holds clear boundaries and commands respect from those around her. Her heart is generous and she holds a natural balance between mind, body and spirit. She moves easily in her body and is in flow with the natural movement of her world.

Queen of Seduction – The Sensualist

This woman transforms passionate play into deeper relationships and harness the power of the sacred erotic for this purpose. 

She is fully connected to joy and to pleasure as it’s experienced through the body. She is companion and confidante both in love. Luxury and abundance are hers to have and to enjoy fully. She is extroversion and mystery both and the paradox is intoxicating. He naturally attracts attention, emanates sensuality and captivates with little or no effort at all. She feels good in her body and embraces who and what she is including how she looks with generosity and gratitude. She loves who she is and this makes it easy for others to as well. 

Queen of Wisdom – The Sage

She is wise from lived experience and knowledge acquired over time. She is committed to deeper purpose, knows her values and stays connected to her truth. She holds practiced mastery in realizing her vision. She is strategic, resourceful and has perspective and objectivity. Her depth fascinates and the sense of mystery she holds is layered and intensely alluring. She cultivates community and belonging creating stability through shared connection. 

Queen of Creation – The Mother

She is nurture, protection and creation. An excellent listener, compassionate and a natural giver, she fosters lasting heart-centered relationships easily. She is grounded, stabilizing, and it feels safe and nourishing to be by her side. She knows how to take care of herself so that she can enjoy her life fully – and also be there for others as this gives her great joy. She has a gift for healing heart and soul and is loved and appreciated for this. She perseveres and can endure by grounding into herself and the natural world around her. 

Queen of Wild – The Mystic

The Queen of Wild connects easily with the natural world and the life that runs through it, grounding her in safety, deep connection with the earth and its inherent stability. She moves with the cycle of the seasons, deeply in tune with the constant of change. This rhythm is her flow. Untamed and free in her expression, she surrenders to spirit, to ecstasy and orgasmic bliss. The cosmos too moves within her. She never questions herself and welcomes the magic and mystery of the unknown with open arms. This deep connection with all that is gives her a sense of inner peace and calm even as she surrenders wholly to the unpredictable wildness of life and existence.

*Informed and inspired by the work of Ayesha K. Faines and Layla Martin.

3 steps to have more success in love in 2021

December is a time of year for retrospection…and introspection. 

As you look back on the year – and granted, it’s been a strange one – you can take stock of what you’ve learned.

And ask what wants to be left behind. What wants to be carried forward.

And what wants to happen in the new year so that you can create the love you want.

Journaling is a great way to do this.  

And I also recommend long walks in nature as you contemplate the following.

With the wisdom mined, you’ll then take informed, inspired action.

Step 1: Get clear on what you want in a relationship

This year in Dating

• What worked with meeting new people

• What didn’t 

• Who did you connect with easily. Why?

• What made a date feel good?

• What made a date flop?

Action:

Dating over time can be tough. And we can loose a sense for how much it actually teaches us. 

Write down 3 things that dating helped you understand about what you want in a relationship.

Read more on healthy relationships here.  

Step 2: Prep your heart for big love

This year in Love

• What wants letting go from this year

• Unreturned messages

• Bad dates

• Bad kisses 

• Dashed hopes

• Heartbreak big and small

• Patterns that keep repeating

Action: Write down 3 things you’re letting go of this year. Burn the paper. 

Fill yourself up with good stuff with this Heal Heartbreak meditation.

Step 3: Know you can have it (even if you never have)

This year in Sex + Pleasure

• Are you connected to your body? 

• Did you self-pleasure enough? 

• Did it feel sacred….or routine? 

• Did you only say yes when it was a HELL YES and your body was on board?

• What allows you to drop more into pleasure? 

• What keeps you from it? 

• Does it feel nourishing? 
  

Action:

Schedule sex in. Yep, even if it’s with yourself. Get that diary out and find 3 days that work for you. 

Not sure where to start? Watch this and learn about how your body is built for pleasure (for people with vaginas)

Your pleasure is yours to own. It’s your birthright and we’re all naturally wired for pleasure. 

You are the creator of your own pleasure. 

You are the creator of your life. 

And you can create the deep, connected, long-term healthy partnership that you want to. 

It starts with you. 

How to heal from heartbreak - a 3 step body-heart-mind process

If you’ve experienced heartbreak, you are so not alone.

Heartbreak is one of the most common things that we all experience at some point or another. 

This holds true often even for those who have never been in a relationship as much as it does for those married multiple times. 

Heartbreak can even happen whilst you are deep in relationship. 

The hope we hold for love unrequited or withdrawn carries a pain that can chafe the heart enough times to send the protective barriers up that keep us feeling safe – and alone. 

The loss we feel, the grief and sadness can stay around for much longer than is healthy. It’s good to feel your emotions. Not so good to hold on to the tough ones for too long. The heaviness that fills our heart leaves no space for the joy and lightness of love. The kind that overflows. 

The kind that wants to be shared. 

Heartbreak can also sit in our minds as we play the scenes over and over again trying to make sense of it all. Where we went wrong. What we did or didn’t do. What was going on with the other person. This infinite loop locks us in the past leaving no possibility for us to be present here and now so that we can live a new and different future. 

Step 1: Free your physical body – let it out 

This may not seem obvious at first, but heartbreak sits not only in the ache around your heart. It can show up in other parts of you as well.  

Feel into your body and notice what sensations come up when you recall the person or situation that broke your heart. 

For example many women often feel an ache in their womb when they really tune in to their bodies. 

Others will realise that that tightness in their belly or clenching of their shoulders shows up. 

Whatever it is, you’ll want to encourage the sensation to loosen and move out of your body. 

Some ways to facilitate this are:  

• Shake it off - from the tips of your fingers down to your toes shake your whole body

• Dance it off - crank up the tunes!

• Sound it out - give the sensation a voice and let it out

Whatever it takes to get the yuck out. 

Give yourself 5-10 minutes for this. 

Step 2: Next move on to your heart – allow yourself to feel

Allow yourself to feel the emotions of it all, whatever it is that comes up for you. 

This could be deep sadness and grief, a sense of loss and of course hurt. 

Sometimes the feelings of intense pain or hurt carry a physical quality to them. Let the emotion move through your body and out. 

Give yourself 5-10 minutes for this. 

Whilst it’s important to feel your emotions to heal, you don’t want to stay here for too long as it can then become counter-productive. 

Step 3: Clear your mind

If you find yourself analysing and over-analysing the situation or person or yourself, then try this. 

Take 2 sheets of paper.

On one paper write down all the good stuff from your experience. 

Fill it with lessons learned and wisdom gained. 

This you’ll be taking forward with you in your journey to new love. 

On the 2nd sheet of paper write down all the nasty stuff. Everything that you want to leave behind. All the mess and anything that felt harmful – and not in a learning kind of way. 

Burn the paper or rip it up and toss it out. 

Fill up with fresh, clean energy

You will have created space in your body, heart and mind at this point. 

Fill that space with light and love. You can do this through a heart-based meditation. Or simply by imagining a beautiful pearl of love-filled light at the centre of your chest expanding out into all the spaces that you’ve created. 

Another way is to spend time with friends and family where you feel the love and soak it all in from them. Love feeds love. All kinds. 

Come back to wholeness

And finally, call back into you any parts of you that you feel might have been left behind. Welcome yourself back. 

Do this process as many times as it takes until you feel complete, whole and new. 

And remember, healing heartbreak can take time. Be gentle and go easy. 

Breathwork: a powerful practice to awaken to deeper parts of you

You may have heard of breathwork by now. 

It’s fast becoming the new ‘yoga’ in urban wellbeing circles. And will likely spread further outwards as its cousins mindfulness, meditation and yoga have. 

Why? Because it’s that simple and that powerful. 

And when used in combination with the mindset work I do with clients, it’s a powerful catalyst for moving them forward faster. And they can’t seem to get enough. Read about one client’s experience here.

So what is breathwork exactly. And how does it work? 

What is Breathwork?

Breathwork is breathing in a certain way to shift your mind from an awakened state of consciousness to an altered state where deeper levels of your mind and body can be explored and understood. 

It uses faster paced breathing, a certain kind of body movement when it’s indicated, and at times evocative music. 

How does it work?

You may have already done some form of breathwork in yoga. The “Pranayama” (‘Prana’ meaning life force, and ‘Ayama’ meaning to restrain or to draw out) or “breathwork” is used in yoga to achieve a conscious state of mind and relaxed body.

The method I use in sessions is closer to ‘Holotropic Breathwork’ developed by psychiatrists Stanislav and Christina Grof. The “Holotropic” breath works in exactly the opposite way to pranayama. It relaxes the conscious mind opening up a gateway to the subconscious.

And by doing so it tends to bring up underlying tension and latent blocks that Stanislav Grof explains “are associated with traumatic situations, biographical, birth experiences and so on, or even something called transpersonal levels (beyond the self).”

And when these tensions and blocks start surfacing, they are experienced as physical sensations or strong emotions and can then be moved through and gotten rid of.

This allows your body and your mind to heal from the past so that you can move into the present more fully. By doing so you can then create the future that you want to realize. 

How did this method come about?

Breathing has been used throughout centuries, in many different cultures as one of the most powerful means to heal by shifting our mental state. 

Stanislav spent decades researching the science of the ancient shamanistic practices to develop this simple yet effective method for inducing alternative states of consciousness without the use of drugs.

This specific practice came about as an alternative to LSD-based psychedelic-assisted therapy following the suppression of legal LDS in the 1960s. 

Watch Transpersonal Documentary, interview with Stanislav and Christina Grof: Part 1 & Part 2 

What are the benefits of breathwork?

1. Reduces stress, anxiety, grief, depression and anger

2. Increase sensitivity to pleasure, energy levels and boost immune system

3. Increase self-awareness, presence, happiness and joy

4. Increase self-love

5. Improve sleep

6. Release trauma and fear stuck in the body

7. Helps to reduce pain

8. Release toxins from the body

9. Improve digestion

10. Explore altered states of consciousness, consciously

Can the breath help with sex? 

Using the breath can help you to feel more pleasure and connect more during sex so that you feel more nourished and alive. 

Watch how I explain how breathwork can be used to experience more pleasure: Feel sensational in bed by breathing in a whole new way

Can the breath help with confidence when dating?

Using the breath before and on a date is wonderful for boosting confidence. And we all know how sexy confidence is. 

Not only that, but you will be calmer and think clearly, allowing you and your date to relax and enjoy the experience. 

Can the breath help with communication and connection?

Working with the breath and posture allows for more space in the moment to be clear on what you want, and to articulate that. 

One of my clients has expressed how much he enjoys working with the breathing and stretching out his body fully along with the vocal breathing releases, music and a bit of movement as this “makes a big difference” to his relationship with his partner, and he feels “stronger for it”. Listen to his full experience here.

“My partner and I shared our first real exchange in terms of where we are and what we want. I think for the first time (ever) I have expressed my true honest feelings of what I want... I feel the first stage of control of my thoughts and feelings and being able to share them.”

What does scientific research say?

(Source: Healthline)

A 1996 study combined the holotropic breathing technique with psychotherapy over six months. People who participated in the breathwork and therapy significantly reduced death anxiety and increased self-esteem compared to those who only had therapy.

A report from 2013 documented the results of 11,000 people over 12 years who participated in holotropic breathwork sessions. The results suggest that it can be used to treat a wide range of psychological and existential life issues. Many people reported significant benefits related to emotional catharsis and internal spiritual exploration. No adverse reactions were reported. This makes it a low-risk therapy.

A 2015 study found that holotropic breathing can bring about higher levels of self-awareness. It may help to positively make changes in temperament and development of character. People who were more experienced with the technique reported less tendency to be needy, domineering, and hostile.

Try as I may, I find it difficult to communicate exactly how the type of coaching that I do is different. 

I explain that the body as much as the mind and emotions are engaged in ‘the work’. 

And yet my descriptions always seem to fall short. 

So I’ve asked one of my clients to describe her experience of breathwork in session with me here.

Breathwork: One woman's very personal experience

Oli, a beautiful, vivacious and sensitive woman who came to me wanting to experience her relationship with her long-term partner more fully without obsessively worrying that she’ll get bored or that he’ll leave her.

This became possible as we uncovered parts of Oli that needed and wanted love and acceptance. The uncovering of these pieces of Oli came in part, through Breathwork.

Today Oli enjoys the safety of her own body, celebrates the power of her mind, and lives a healthy relationship full of love and pleasure like she never has before.

Here’s Oli’s experience of the practice in her own words….

There’s something about the breath that is so powerful. I mean, it keeps us alive right? 

But coming to learn that working with the breath to achieve different states of mind and body is truly magical. Since studying Drama in school, I quickly learnt that a lot of us don’t breathe properly - that is we take shallow breaths into the chest - and this affects the way we move and speak on stage, as well as creating unnecessary tension.

Taking deep belly breaths can make room for expression, volume and pause, as well as releasing unwanted tension. 

So I knew that on a base level, deep and shallow breaths can shift your disposition.

However, only since working with Andrea do I now understand the capacity of breath as a practice of healing. A method of finding inner bliss and accepting inner wisdom.

My First Go at Breathwork

In a recent session with Andrea, we decided to work on a continued source of tension for me. The fear of rejection, loneliness and feeling unlovable. We came up with a mantra, an intention, a truth, for my psyche to acknowledge during the practice.

“Whether I am alone or with friends, I am loved no matter what.” 

While Andrea played some relaxing music, I shook out any surface level tension, and then began with some peaceful and relaxing breaths. Then moved into the Breathwork.

Breathing in through the mouth, into the chest, then the belly, then out through the mouth. After a few rounds of continuous breath, the pattern became faster, and I noticed a lot of tension and fear building in my body. I felt the familiar pain in my throat show up intensely. A tingling spread throughout my body, particularly my fingers, and was guided to let out whatever needed to come out. 

I cried. I wretched. I shook. I kicked. I wailed. I growled. I wanted whatever was holding me back, out of my body.

Andrea repeated my mantra: “Whether you are alone, or with friends, you are loved no matter what.” 

This was hard to hear and I cried some more. Trying not to judge it but let whatever needed to happen, happen. 

After what felt like a really long time, I let go of the Breath and Andrea guided me into a state of calm. I resourced (located a soft part of my body) from my belly and then my pleasure, holding myself in warmth, safety and sensuality, breathing deeply into my pleasure. Stroking different parts of my body, my neck, my inner thighs, inner arms and face. Letting the pleasure wash over me. 

However, even in the state of calm after, I still felt a little tense, particularly in my throat. After a few more deep sighs, I cried again. Letting the tears flow and the bliss wash over me. 

“Whether I am alone or with friends, I am loved no matter what.” 

Holding myself in this truth, I knew I had more work to do, but felt relieved at the awareness and the path I am on. 

The Second Go at Breathwork (Solo)

Trying this practice out on my own for the first time was a different experience, as I find myself holding back from letting go completely without the ‘real time’ support of Andrea - but an audio guide. However, with more practice I trust that I can do this. 

Again, after a quick body shake, I took myself to place of calm with deep full-bodied breaths. With Andrea’s voice in my ears, I was guided to set an intention. I chose “a gentle practice of letting go of whatever shows up.” I chose gentle considering it was the morning and I wasn’t prepared to go deep without live support on my first solo go. However, I tend to wake up with tension in my chest, and was open to releasing it in this practice. 

I was now familiar with the breathing pattern, and began to feel the tingling sensation and lightheadedness. As the pace quickened, I was guided to start releasing whatever was coming up for me. 

I felt tears roll from my eyes - I wasn’t necessarily crying, but more like when you do a big yawn, and tears come from the release. I stretched and shook. Though when I was told to Sound, I held back most noise, fearing judgement from my housemates or people passing by my open window. (Next time I’ll let go of this).

But I did ask for a gentle practice, and when I felt myself going too far, the build up of panic and intense tingling, I took more normal breaths. 

I continued to release tension from my muscles and my face, yawning and releasing. 

Towards the end, I was guided into pleasure. This felt so nourishing and with the sunlight on my face through the window, I felt spacious and calm. Ready to take on the day. 

Body, mind, and emotions – coaching my way engages all of you for deep, lasting change

My relationship with my partner is deeper than I could have ever imagined, and only continues to blossom.

Looking back and remembering previous tensions I held in my relationship reminds me of how far I’ve come. 

Here is Oli’s personal story of how using one of my favourite MBE Coaching techniques called ‘Focusing’ helped her move from fear around vocalising what she wants to healthy and open dialogue on all subjects with the man she loves.

Discovering that I could locate emotional trauma living in my body in the form of physical pain was a revelation. I had been struggling with this lump in my throat for a while before I began my work with Andrea. 

It was painful and uncomfortable and I knew it was linked to my anxiety, but I was completely clueless as to the deeper meaning of it and that I had the capacity within my own body to clear it, bring myself to safety and heal from a trauma that happened so many years ago.

Focusing was developed by psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin as a psychotherapeutic process that uses sensation to clear the body of unresolved feelings, and to make space for new possibilities. 

The first step to this is recognising your own “felt sense”. This goes beyond logical thoughts and feelings, and taps into the body for wisdom. This can be multiple wisdoms - multiple points in your body that provide information. 

Discovering that I could locate emotional trauma living in my body in the form of physical pain was a revelation. I had been struggling with this lump in my throat for a while before I began my work with Andrea. 

It was painful and uncomfortable and I knew it was linked to my anxiety, but I was completely clueless as to the deeper meaning of it and that I had the capacity within my own body to clear it, bring myself to safety and heal from a trauma that happened so many years ago.

Locating My Inner Child 

During a session, we bring my state of consciousness into a meditative one. A place of calm peacefulness. I body scan to notice all the subtle energies flowing through my body - a practice I have been doing in my meditation for a few years - but little did I know this was going to be much different. 

I remember the first time we did this clearly. The lump in my throat, present, and during the body-scan, strong. Andrea would ask questions like “what does it feel like?” “what does it look like?” “what colour is it?” “how old is it?” - which on a logical level doesn’t make much sense at all. But on some basic emotional level, interesting and unpredictable words followed my feelings. 

This lump in my throat became personified. It became a child. My inner child. Crying out for attention. Having spent years of looking after me. Protecting me. She was sad, angry, frustrated, confused, spiky. 

With the words came tears. Tears that were representative of my inner child needing a voice. 

I was filled with fear for my voice to be heard. I was blocked from telling the truth from a lie that was told that deeply traumatised me. A wound that needed healing. 

With talking therapy, I learnt to vocalise my fears, but with Andrea, I’ve been able to do much more physical work and locate deeper, inner truths. Discovering that my body holds infinitely more answers than my logical mind.

This was important, because in therapy I continued to repeat the same story over and over again. The bodywork broke me free, and unlocked things I didn’t know needed unlocking. I’ve been able to find the answers within myself.

“Felt shift” is a part of the Focusing process where your experiences guide you to a better place of understanding yourself.

Locating My Inner Goddesses

As the tears poured, Andrea told me to body-scan again, this time locating a place of safety in my body. A place of softness, squishiness, sturdy groundedness. I found her, and I’ve since found multiples of her. In my belly. In my breasts. In my upper arms, and in the centre of my head. My inner goddesses. 

Using this visual meditative practice, Andrea guided my inner child to explore the soft areas of my body. To move around, play and feel free from the pain and responsibility of protecting me. 

My inner goddesses regularly show up in these practices. They provide warmth and strength. They take control and offer insane amounts of wisdom. 

Words flow from feeling. Again nothing logical about it. But incredibly powerful, that I come out feeling blissful and born again. 

In the 6 months I have been working with Andrea my throat does still show up. But she is calmer, and I know how to soothe her. I feel much more in control of my state of mind, and know that I have the powers within me to heal. 

Where I used to find communicating my fears to my partner, my friends and my family next to impossible, it all comes to me a bit easier now.

I am more confident in opening up a difficult conversation - where before I would sit on my anxiety for months, only to have it blow up in my face later on. 

In this space of release, you allow room for newness to emerge. 

Focusing opens up a dialogue between the mind and the body. While the mind has one take on what’s going on, the body has others, more subtle, more intricate, and nuanced in the way it understands the situation, gives meaning and provides context.

Not everyone is ready to work straight away with their mind and body through Focusing. Though many of us are accustomed to emotionality and feelings, working with the body brings us that much deeper.

So I choose the tool, practice or process to meet you where you are at and we work from there.

Jade Egg Basics : What is this little stone all about. And why should you care?

The jade egg has changed my life. Literally. 

It put Pleasure with a capital ‘P’ back on my map after decades of increasing numbness in my body.

But I didn’t always love this little egg-shaped stone.

When I first heard of the jade egg I was like, “Nope, no way. You gotta be crazy. I’ve got to put what, where?”

I had a deep fear of putting anything inside of me, never mind something made of stone. 

The following information is based on what the jade egg did for me and countless other women - the jade egg’s been used in the US for over 40 years, and in Asia for thousands.

Yep, thousands.

There has to be something to it, right?

So what is it exactly? And how does it work?

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1. The jade egg is a tool that can be used to support a deep, intimate understanding of your body and your sexuality. 

The jade egg is a stone made of certified jade and shaped into an egg. Like kegel weights, it can be gently invited into the vaginal canal to strengthen and tone the muscles inside of your body.

It can also be used together with tools such as meditation, visualisation, and focusing on body sensation to melt away layers of tension and holding that keep you from experiencing the fullness of pleasure.

Both your body and your sexuality belong to you, right? They are both with you all the time. So why was it that I felt that I had no clue about either at the age of 40? 

If you had asked me to describe my sexuality years ago, I would have gone straight onto Google (I actually did this) to look up the term sexuality. What did that encompass? How would I describe mine?!? I had no clue...

Now I would describe myself and my sexuality as gentle, strong, sensual, sexy, beautiful, alive, powerful, erotic, mystical, innocent and the list goes on and on. 

I know how to turn myself on and how to tell my lover (aka boyfriend) what I like and what I want. 

Am I perfect at this? Nope. But I’m 400% better at it than I was.

I continue to use the egg as a tool to learn about my body, keep her in good health. 

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2. The jade egg can help you overcome whatever it is that is holding you back from being your fullest, most beautiful, most sexy self.

When I bought my first egg, it was about a year before I could even try to put the thing inside of me. I’d look at the little wonder with trepidation and worry and even fear. 

And the first times I tried to ease the egg into my vagina, I felt deep nausea and disgust come up. I just could not do it. 

So I learned to listen to my body. And my pussy. And work with her slowly. Until finally, gradually, over time she opened up to the little egg welcomed it in.

I came to realise that was surfacing was decades old beliefs and conditioning I had inherited from growing up in a religion that shamed masturbation and self-pleasure, a culture that labeled women who enjoyed sex too much as trashy, and a deep fear embedded in me around how sex would destroy my life (from disease, pregnancy, disrepute, the list goes on). 

It took some time to work through all of this. To trust my body. Trust my pleasure. And welcome it back in my body. 

The jade egg practices proved to be a practical way for me to do this. 

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3. The jade egg will help you feel deeply nourished and alive

When I incorporate the jade egg into my daily life, I feel more fresh, vitalised and renewed. I sleep better. I feel fuller and more content. 

When you work with the jade egg deep in your body it can act as a kind of internal masseur, releasing tension and tightness (stuck energy) from your tissues and muscles. 

This allows for a more free flow of vital energy throughout your body, making you feel more vibrant and alive, or deeply relaxed depending on who you are. 

******

4. The jade egg helps increase sensitivity in your vagina

Remember how I was explaining before about all of those layers of conditioning that were causing me so many problems? 

Well, not only would I feel nausea with my jade egg practices, but I would also numb out during sex. Or feel burning sensations. 

What the heck? I thought sex was supposed to feel good all the time?!? That’s what Hollywood says anyway. I was sold a line? Why does no one talk about this?

Turns out if you, like me, carry emotional baggage of some sort, chances are your body has built up a barrier around feeling things. Love your body for doing this – it’s just trying to keep you safe. 

But now that part of you needs to learn that it’s ok to relax. 

As I learned to feel safe in my sexiness, I began to notice more feeling in my vagina. I started having cervical orgasms! And vaginal ones as well. 

Woohooo!!! It’s like a part of me that had gone into a long slumber was slowly coming alive again. 

******

5. The jade egg gives you permission to try on as many flavours of sexiness as you can imagine - it’s infinitely fun

Guided jade egg practices gave me a safe container within which to explore flavours of sensuality that I’d not previously allowed myself. 

I discovered I could be wild and still be wholesome. 

That I could be both erotic and innocent. 

I could surrender completely or take charge. 

Sexiness could be sacred or primal.

It was my choice. My pleasure. My body. My self-discovery. 

And in it I found so many parts of myself that I had buried away. 

Why do I think you might like the jade egg?

Because I know you are dying to know all the sides of yourself too. You are curious. You live your life courageously. You are bold. You are brave. 

You are exceptional. 

And remember, I’ve been there. You’ll have my support the whole way through. 

******

6. Jade Egg practices when done regularly heal your body. Here’s how: 

• Increase pelvic floor and vaginal wall strength

• Increase sensitivity in your vagina and your entire pelvic region

• Fortify a body / mind connection critical to enhancing pleasure and intimacy during sex with a partner or solo

• Feel empowered by your sexuality as you understand intimately how your body works

• Become more sensitive to energy and how it moves in your body

In my own personal experience in my own body it has also:

• Reduced and eliminated pain, burning and numbness in my vagina

• Steadied and normalized my menstrual cycle

• Reduced premenstrual symptoms of cramping and soreness

• Uplifted and balanced my emotions and my energy

• Gave me inner confidence by knowing and understanding my body’s ability to experience pleasure alone and with a partner

But don’t just take it from me. Here’s a YouTube vid where I interview a fellow jade egg coach on her own experience: How the jade egg helped one woman find love

Sound: use it to experience wild, full-bodied pleasure for men

Sex is like surfing. 

Learn how to ride the waves of your sexual energy and you’ll feel it’s magnificent force as a full bodied pleasure experience.

And who doesn’t want a full-bodied experience of pleasure? 

If you could control your ejaculatory reflex and spread the experience of arousal throughout your whole body, rather than having it just centered around the head of your penis, why wouldn’t you? 

In order to do this, you’ll need to be able to fully surrender to your turn-on, like a surfer surrenders to the power of the wave. 

In surrendering, the surfer relaxes into the rise and fall of the power of the ocean beneath him. 

At the same time, he remains open and connected to his body. He is completely present.

Same thing with sexual arousal. 

When you learn to relax into your pleasure and ride the wave versus clamping down on it, repressing it or controlling it you become super sensitive to pleasure. 

So much so that you can move and spread that energy throughout your body and experience expanded states of bliss.

Open, surrendered, and connected are the states you’ll need to be in to ride the waves of pleasure.

One of the most powerful tools for opening yourself up to these states is to use your voice. To ‘sound’.  

Sounding in sex is allowing your body to have a voice. 

It’s giving sound or voice to whatever part of you wants to express itself in that moment. 

It’s allowing whatever sounds that want to emerge from you to come out however they want to come out. And not judging them. 

Often times we are ashamed of making noise during sex, and we clamp down on the sounds that would naturally come out. 

This could come through years of adolescence where masturbation happened on the down low and as quickly as possible so no one would hear.

And so men are expected to emit an occasional grunt or groan, but not much else in sex. 

Women are also assigned a set of ‘proper’ sounds during sex. 

But as is so often the case, what we are sold as acceptable ‘normal’ sex sounds are scripted for Hollywood or porn and are limited. 

We humans are much more interesting than that. 

So let yourself go. 

You can get used to the sound of your own voice first in masturbation. Self-pleasure is a great place tp start. Let the sounds come forth wild an uninhibited, and you may just find that the powerful raw sexual desire, lusty and potent, rises within as well. 

You may feel a bit silly for it at first. Remember that no one is watching.

Full-bodied pleasure is yours to be had. 

Claim it.

The more you love and accept yourself for your truest, fullest expression, the more you open yourself up to being loved exactly this way by another. 

Calm, nourish and stabilize yourself - body, mind + soul

I’m sharing this FREE audio-guided grounding deep meditation practice 

To stabilise and nourish you body, mind and soul

Download the audio files here

Being human has never been easy

But that doesn’t mean we have to do this alone

Especially in these exceptional times

So here’s one of my favourite practices from my coaching programme for those wanting to create love in their lives. 

Filling yourself up with good, nourishing energy is key

It allows you to share love from a place of fullness and overflow

And by doing so you attract in more of the same

Right now we all can use filling up with all the love we can get! 

And unlike loo roll, there’s an infinite amount of love on the planet to draw from. 

So put on some calming music

Hit play on the audio

And soak it up

So much love from me to you.

3 simple ways to find love faster

If you're anything like I was, you're sick and tired of the endless dating cycle by now. 
You'd give anything to make the process of finding love (or as I see it, creating love), faster. 

You may have already fallen in love once or twice before in your lifetime (and if you haven't yet...don't worry – you are not alone). 

So you don't need me to tell you that falling in love is an incredible process of expansion. 

You feel yourself grow almost physically larger than life. Your heart explodes outwards. 
You see the world differently. 

As we get to know another, we see the world – our world – and ourselves through their eyes.

So really falling in love is an expansion into YOU.
You discover more about who YOU are. And fall in love with yourself as much as with another person.

And this is an incredible experience.

Oooo .. wait.. I can hear you now…

“But Andrea, how is this insight going to help me now? I’m single! 
I need to find my person first before I can benefit from this expansion business.”

Bullsh*t, I say. 

Not only can you experience the expansive amazingness of falling in love NOW
But it’s going to help you bring the person that’s going to invite you to know yourself more quickly into your life.  

Here are 3 simple ways that you can begin the process of falling in love NOW and attract in someone who’ll join the ride with you:

1. Fill your own gaps - are you looking for someone good with money because you suck with money? Let me tell you this, people good with money do their best to AVOID those who are not good with it. Looking for an artist type to help you realise your creative side? GET IN THE DRAWING STUDIO and see who you meet when you’re there. Filling the gaps feeds off of the misdirected belief that someone else should ‘complete’ us. Yes, there is a lot to learn from another in relationship, but expecting that other person to fill you up is draining. Learn to feed your own needs and desires in life so you are free to love the other person for who they are – not just what they bring to the relationship. That’s a ‘what can I get from this’ mentality and it doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.

2. Fall in love with your ‘faults’ - Do you look round you only to see people in the world who are non-committal? Or who don’t lack inspiration? Now turn the gaze upon yourself. Is there some part of you that’s afraid of commitment? Or that feels bored by life? THAT’S what wants loving. And some attention. Once you give these parts of you some TLC, then you’ll begin to notice, through inspired eyes, that there’s more out there (and in people) that you’d first seen.

3. Love who you are NOW. What parts of you or qualities in you light your own fire. Add some fuel to that flame and let yourself shine!!! This is a surefire way to attract more of what you already love into your life.

You’ve got this.

Turn up the volume on lovin’ yourself and filling you with what you need, and the world (of lovely available people), becomes your oyster.

Create Love – Part 2 : Overcome resistance and roadblocks

Before sitting down to write this, I realised that I ‘needed’ a coffee. And then that the laundry ‘needed’ to be run. Oh, and then I remembered that an email ‘needed’ responding to…and then...and then…

Let’s call this like it is – Resistance!!

Some part of you is resisting your moving forward to getting the love and partnership that you want. 

Resistance can rule your life if you don’t watch out.

So it’s best to learn how to work with it.

If you made it this far, you are ready to actively create the love that you want in your life. You have a clear idea about what that looks like. You may already have started to create that by bringing it into 5D* – embedding it in your mind, body and soul. 

* I explain the importance of 5Ding what you want into all parts of you here: Create Love - Part 1 - The fastest (and surest) way to the relationship of a lifetime.

If you’ve done Part 1, you’ve begun to experience what it will feel like on a daily basis to be in the relationship that you envision. 

And you’ve got a daily practice in place to support you in this. If you follow the 5D model, that’s a daily recording you’re listening to at key moments in the day. 

And then…resistance shows up

What is resistance? 

Maybe you start to ‘forget’ to do your daily practice of listening + feeling. Or you think that you might be better served by more rest and drop back to sleep. 

Those are some of the symptoms of resistance.

Symptoms of resistance can look like:

• Tiredness (my fav…think I need another nap)

• Boredom

• Procrastination

• Busy-ness / no time

• Irritability + crankiness

And then the voices start and you get totally thrown off track:

• You begin to doubt whether it’s even worth it

• If it matters that much

• If it’s really attainable

• And even whether you really want it

And you move from the tangible feeling your future relationship in your hands NOW, to a drop back into your old self (your old vibration) and the old familiar way of being. 

Say what?!!? 

You’ve owned up to the fact that a partnership that lasts is the single-most important thing for you right now – it’s at the top of that long list of desires – and now you’re telling me that you’re not even sure you want it? 

Watch out, because that’s fear and self-doubt at play. NOT what your soul truly wants.

So what is really going on here? 

What is the root cause of the resistance?

It’s super easy to fall back into old beliefs and their corresponding thought and behavioural patterns because like well-paved roads – they feel familiar. And in that familiarity they feel safe.

So whilst we begin to understand how they limit us and our potential for new experiences, we continue to cling to what is safe and familiar.

The obvious problem with continuing down the well-paved road is that it will lead us where we’ve already been and NOT in the new direction. The new direction which will lead us to the new reality of the relationship that we’ve so clearly defined in the 5D process and have begun to feel in our bodies as real and attainable.

Well-paved roads are in fact, sets of learned beliefs and associated emotions from culture, society, our families and other past experiences that want re-writing. 

Resistance is the part(s) of ourselves that are trying desperately to hold on to these old ways and want to continue down the old well-paved roads.

These parts of us buried deep in our subconscious have yet to believe we’ll survive a different way of being.

They need reassurance that the new way we wan to live is going to be ok. And that you’ll survive it.

So how do we access these parts of ourselves that are resisting and show them we are ready to move forward?

The parts of us that carry the old beliefs and associated emotions get stored in our bodies on a physical level. And as such can be accessed through the physical body where we release them and free ourselves.

Talk therapy attempts to do this by accessing the analytical mind and the underlying emotions. As our minds are masterful at spinning stories. Many of us are familiar with the term ‘the monkey mind’ to describe our overactive brains. Getting beneath all the chatter to discover what is truly going on can take anywhere from several months to many years.

Whilst talk therapy can help many people, there is a faster and more direct way to reach the deeper parts of you that are resisting change. And that is through the physical body. 

How to access resistance and can I do it on my own?

You can learn to do this on your own. It’ll take some practice. And it’s much easier to do once you’ve been guided by a coach like me through a process called focusing.

Step 1

You’ll want to get quiet and still like you would in meditation or visualisation practices. Bring your focus inwards and let your eyelids gently close. This will help you really tune in to what is going on in your body.

Step 2

Bring to mind and really feel the emotions and sensory experiences of your 5D reality.

Step 3

Scan your body starting from the top of your head and working your way down. Feel into where the resistance sits – is it a heaviness in your belly? A tightness in your chest? A burning or numbness somewhere in your body?

Step 4

Once you locate the resistance bring your full awareness and attention to that place in you. Drop fully into the physical sensations of it so much so that you feel as if you have become the sensation.

Step 5

Begin to ask this part of your body the following and see what responses bubble up. Don’t try to make sense of it or figure it out, just see what arises:

What is your purpose?

What are you doing for me?

What do you need from me?

What do you need to know in order for me to move forward in life?

The answers that you get are the keys to giving yourself what you need so that you can realise your desire for relationship.

How to move forward

Once you’ve identified what is really going on and have identified what it is that you need to move forward, now it’s time to find a part of yourself that can give you this.

We’ve all got ‘power pieces’ inside of us that can support us in moving forward. There are parts of us that contain the strength and wisdom to support us to move forward in life.

Here’s how to access them:

Step 1

Repeat the body scan you did whilst still holding the vision for your future in your body mind.

This time notice the parts of your body that feel powerful and supportive. Maybe it’s a warming in your belly or a tingling in your arms.

Step 2

As this part of you if it’s willing to give you what was asked for so you can move forward.

Step 3

Have this part of you connect with the part of you that showed up as resistance so that it can ‘see’ you’ve got it covered.

Gently come back to the room and open your eyes.

Write down the ways that you can move from this place of power in your life.

For example, if your power piece showed up in your belly and resistance was in your throat, what are some ways for you to voice your truth or communicate more powerfully when with someone you are attracted to.

Consistently living from your power is what will allow you to create the healthy relationship you want in your life. You’ll be confident, grounded and your magnetism will draw in love.

How can a coach help

I’ve done the best I can to explain the powerful process I bring people through to get very fast results, however it is nothing next to experiencing it with expert guidance.

This is a deep process and requires some degree of connection with one’s own body and internal world – and it is not for everyone. Those who struggle to connect with their bodies and emotions but are open to doing so can be guided however and also experience excellent results.

The skill and experience of my abilities as a coach comes from years of working with this combined with other powerful modalities has proven to perfectly prepare people for exactly what they want – and they get it. Read what they have to say here.

In addition, it takes dedicated practice to pave a new road. I’ll be there with you to ensure that you stay with it and get what you want in life.  

We’ll journey together.

If you’d like to learn more about working with me, send me an email at andrea@lushcoaching.com

I offer free 15 minute intro chats to understand if coaching with me is right for the both of us.

Create Love - Part 1 - The fastest (and surest) way to the relationship of a lifetime

This is the first of a series of posts where I share with you my step-by-step method to help you actively create exactly what you want in the next decade of your life. Yes, the power is in your hands.

Let’s get right to the heart of it – the key to creating what you want in your life, according to neuroscientists + mystics alike, is to feel in your body – physically as well as emotionally and at the level of the mind – what it will be like to experience the thing that you want in your life now. 

Here’s how you can do that.

Step 1 : Write it out

You can begin this as a writing exercise. You’ll be working with your cognitive mind as you do this. The part of your brain that reasons and analyses things. Your mind, so to speak.

And then we’ll take it into your body where the deeper ‘work’ happens (that’s in Step 2). This deeper work is what takes this from a writing exercise which happens on a cognitive level to the deeper parts of your mind, the subconscious, where the actual change will begin to happen.

Our subconscious mind dictates 90% of what we do each day – the choices we make that set us up for creating healthy relationship and thriving. Or for avoiding what’s actually good for us or worse yet, missing it when it’s standing right in front of us.

Consider the following as you write: 

Physical reality (3Ds)

I desire a relationship that… 
Consider they type of person you’d like to be with and the relationship you’d like to have them, from the core values that you share such as trust and honesty, to the things you’ll do together like travelling or cooking. 

Emotional Reality (4th D)

I’ll feel…

Consider how you’ll feel when you have this person in your life. 
What emotions you’ll most experience
What more this person will bring to your life
What you’ll experience differently

Embodied Reality (5th D)

I see / hear / taste / smell / touch or feel…

Consider what will you experience through your 5 senses as you realise the thing you desire. 
Note: When I take my clients through this process they often describe things like the taste of their lover as they kiss them, or the perfume that they are wearing. 

Tip: Write it out by hand. Studies have shown it sticks better when you take pen to paper. 

Step 2: Re-programme mind + body

Now that your cognitive mind is onboard with the love and relationship that you’re going to create, let’s get your subconscious mind lined up too.

Record what you have written and listen to it daily first thing in the morning when you’re in that ‘almost awake’ state. Or as the last thing you listen to right before you drop off to sleep. 

When you’re in this drowsy, super-relaxed state, but not yet asleep, your brain waves are flowing at a frequency called ‘theta’. It’s when you have maximum access to your subconscious even though you are in a semi-conscious state. Now’s the time when you want to re-programme.

Tip: Super power your recording by adding theta wave music to bring you deeper. This will help bring you into a more relaxed focused state which allows your words to sink deeper into your mind to the level of the subconscious.
Your subconscious mind will now begin to work 24/7 with its new programming secured in. It will select instances and influence choices that you make in your everyday life that will support you in creating a new kind of relationship – the one that you know you really want.

Pretty neat, huh? Yeah, I think so too. 

This is what places my coaching practice on the cutting edge – and makes it so effective so fast. This body-based approach incorporates all parts of you on the deepest levels. And sets you up for a new experience of relationships and love. Schedule in a free call with me to speak with me about how you can speed up finding your person through this unique form of coaching.)

Step 3: And repeat. And repeat. And repeat…

You’ll want to listen to your new relationship reality over and over again. I’d recommend 30 to 60 to 90 days. Why?

The programming that you have in you now was formed over a number of years mostly in your early childhood. We got repeated messaging around how we weren’t doing enough or being enough in one way or another and lots of other not so helpful signaling that the relationship and love that we want is attainable by just being ourselves. If you hadn’t you’d have what you want and would not be reading this.

To create a new pathway in your brain that puts you on the route of autopilot (subconscious programming), ‘I deserve what I want in love and am worthy of it and every decision that I make and everything I do is a move in this direction’, will take some time to form.

So wax on, wax off it is. (Karate Kid reference unavoidable)

What’s next?

Note: As you begin to reprogramme, you may notice fear and doubt (aka resistance) show up. 

Resistance can look like that critical voice in your head that tells you you can’t do it, like a heaviness or tiredness suddenly coming on when you’re set to listen to your recording. Or even sit down at all to begin the process.

I teach you how to slay the dragon of resistance in Create Love - Part 2 here.

 
For now, focus on what you want to create – in 5 dimensions.

Ah, and a note on contentment and being ok with what you already have….

Most of us understand by now how important gratitude is to happiness. 

And so I bet you are grateful for what you’ve already experienced in life – the people you’ve got around you, the incredible challenges you’ve overcome and the resulting breakthrough moments, the softness, the warmth and luxuriousness of simple moments. 

And yet you desire more. 
More adventures. More exploration. More growth. 
But especially more love. 

We’re often told that this desire for ‘more’ is a bad thing. We should be content with what we’ve got and where we are at. And if you’re single and pretty happy with your life, you may sometimes ask yourself…but isn’t life pretty good as is? Maybe I don’t need a partner, you might think to yourself. 

And yet we’re here on the planet to experience life and to explore. 

It’s our very nature as humans to want to expand out into as many shapes and forms as we can imagine as we get to know ourselves.

So whilst it’s important to allow for sense of contentment and completion in where you are at now, it’s also only natural that you continue to desire more. 

Especially when that ‘more’ feels in alignment with you expanding as a person – expanding heart, mind and soul.

And relationship is arguably the single best way to continue to challenge yourself, to grow and to expand – certainly in ways that other relationships or your career do not allow for.

And so I ask you, what will expansion look like to you specifically as it relates to partnership and your intimate life?

3 surprising secrets to deepen intimacy - even if you are single

Like love that endures the test of time

And sex that remains powerful, potent, exciting and on fire long after the initial sparks and chemical cocktail in your body have subsided

Intimacy, that which brings us close and gives us the experience of being accepted for exactly who we are must also be cultivated.

And often created.

Actively.

Sitting around and waiting for love to come knocking on my door didn’t really work for me. Neither did obsessive action like serial dating or hours of swiping.

All of that outward focus didn’t do sh*t all.

Inner work did.

So I am going to share with you now the top 3 ways on how to create more intimacy in your life.

Yep, you guessed it – it starts by looking inwards.

Intimacy key 1: Truth-telling

What stories are you telling yourself? What narratives might your clever mind be weaving?

Might they sound like, ‘I don’t really have time right now for a relationship – work is really full on and anyway I have great friends.’ or ’I’m just not the kind of person that people are attracted to’.

Face your truth, however painful and scary so you can begin to own what you want.

Start by getting really radically truthful with yourself. Own your desires and what you really want in love – and in life, no matter how out of reach they feel.

It might sound like, ‘I really do want a relationship. And I’m going to carve out space for it. Though work is demanding and I care about my career, what matters most to me right now is doing what it takes for love to enter my life.’

Allow yourself to feel the pain of not having those things (you only get a few mins for this, it doesn’t help to get stuck here). It’s palpable.

Love yourself for the wanting.

Then, shift into knowing that you are doing what it takes to get there.

And know that you will if you focus on it.

Whatever we give time and energy to eventually comes to us.

Intimacy key 2 : Eye-gazing

Eye-gazing is simply staring into someone’s eyes for 2-10 minutes. No talking. Just holding a soft focused gaze.

What? Don’t I need someone else’s eyes to gaze into for this one?

Nope.

Got a mirror?

Looking into your own eyes is incredibly potent. It may feel silly at first, but if you stick with it, oh the things you’ll ‘see’ about yourself.

Let me know how this one goes. I’d love to hear.

Intimacy key 3 : Pleasure map

Through touch. For this one, you just need a bit of creativity and some time alone to experiment with the type of touch that you most enjoy.

And where.

Knowing your own body, what turns you on – and off – is key to experiencing the levels of pleasure that are available to you. And the closeness that this brings first to yourself as you drop deeply into your body. And build connection with it. And trust in your own pleasure and ability to access and experience it on very deep levels.

Then once you’ve understood your own pleasure map – charting where on your body you experience the most pleasure – you can invite in another to share in the experience.

One of the prevailing myths of our time is that lovers are supposed to ‘just know’ how you like to be touched. Not many of us are mind-readers so I’m not sure how this one has lasted as long as it has.

Asking for what you want allows you to receive the pleasure you want. And makes the job of the giver satisfying and rewarding as they support you in your pleasure.

And this beautiful, informed dance of giving and receiving pleasure brings 2 humans ever so close.

Start with you.

And where you are at.

Go easy with yourself.

Let this be the evolution that it is meant to be.

And enjoy the journey.

Katie Phillips on Learning to be Intimate

Katie shares how she drew love in by learning how to love men – and herself.

Wisdom comes in so many forms.

This time it’s shaped in the form of Katie Phillips, transformational coach, self-love expert + author.

Katie is incredible to learn from. One of the best in fact, as she’s internalised now embodies what she’s experienced in love and relationships – the challenges that life has offered her…

To get to know herself better
To learn how to love men rather than hate them 😈
And be intimate with both herself AND THEN with men

So that she could finally receive love
And live it fully.

She is indeed, Daring & Mighty.

I’ve invited Katie to speak with us about her journey and how she’s sharing her wisdom – and that of other women – in a series of very special dinner gatherings for the Daring & Mighty.

How to Receive Easily + Let in Love

Good people give. Greedy ones take (aka receive).

This cultural belief has wreaked havoc on relationships.

And has kept many of us single for far too long.

Too much giving (and no receiving) is a defence AGAINST INTIMACY.

Receiving creates connection.

HOW TO RECEIVE (and let love in)

1. Start small - accept compliments w/ eye contact + really feel them land in your body. Find the truth in it within yourself.

2. Enjoy the pleasure of the gift - luxuriate in whatever is received. You’ll feel amazing. And the giver will so enjoy seeing you happy.

3. Practice boundaries - know you don’t need to reciprocate. You can receive for the pleasure of receiving. Full stop. If anyone demands something in return, then you might question their motives in giving.

WHY IT’S SO HARD TO RECEIVE

1. Defence against intimacy / allowing someone closer - it feels vulnerable to open yourself to another in this way.

2. Self-worth - you don’t feel you are worth the compliment, gift, etc.

3. We’re rewarded as children for sharing, not for receiving

4. We’re taught that pleasure is not safe to feel fully

5. Receiving means letting go of some control + this feels scary.

Dating is not a numbers game - How to turn the odds in your favour

Dating is not a numbers game. ➕➖➗

I know. 

I went on hundreds of dates and swiped thousands of profiles for 8 straight years. 

Countless hours were spent crafting my online profile. 

🤳🏽🥵

It only mattered so much.

I finally felt like I was taking control over finding a relationship when I really owned it. 

And the IT here was me.

I owned how I showed up in the world. 

I owned the incredible things about me.

I owned my own amazingness. 

AND

I reflected it accurately and openly – online + off

In this video I share practical (and not so practical) tips on 

-Knowing it + Owning it

-Reflecting that in your online profile 

-Reflecting it in the real world

-Allowing in that which you put out (love...yum)

Expand into new ways of being – how to be a brighter you

Lousie’s work bridges Western philosophy and psychology and Eastern esoteric traditions and shamanism.
She knows the power of each and taps into both to help you understand what you learn.  

She does this so that you are able to take the gifts of the experience and apply them to your NOW so you can live the life you want.

You will learn practical ways to understand and fold the experiences you have into your life to support your own thriving.

- what it looks like when you experience a growth spurt (aka spiritual awakening)

- how to listen for what wants to 'emerge' when this happens

- and be with the feelings, thoughts and emotions that come with it

So that you can come into being a newer, brighter version of yourself instead of running away and pushing down what wants to come out.

We also speak about:

- expanded states of consciousness - from meditation to plan medicines

- and how to interpret the language and learnings that we experience in these states

So that new meaning can be brought into our lives.

Learn to self-soothe – getting you back to good

One of the most difficult things about being single over the long run, is knowing that you’ve got to be self-reliant – for everything. 💪🏼

Sure you’ve probably got friends and family around for support. And I’m sure they are great – or as good as they can be. 👩‍👧‍👧 👨‍👩‍👧 👨‍👨‍👦

But sometimes in your darkest hours they can’t always be there. Maybe it’s too late at night to ring them or you feel that they are sweet, but they just don’t really understand you and what you’re feeling.

The truth of the matter is that even when you are in a relationship, that other person can’t be with you all the time to tell you it’s gonna be ok and that things will work out. In fact, sometimes the other person might have triggered in you anger, fear or sadness and you need some immediate TLC. 😮

Self-soothing is soooooo good. Because only you know exactly what you need to make you feel better.

And you are with yourself ALL THE TIME, so basically there’s always someone there to look out for you. 👭

So how do you find within yourself the ability to make yourself feel better? Especially when you feel like doo doo? 💩

Learn 6 (or more) ways to bring yourself back to good whether it’s recovering from a bad date or no date at all or when you just don’t feel so good. I’ll talk about:

1. Gentle touch

2. Non-linear movement

3. Golden light + love

4. Positive words / affirmations

5. Community + synchronised movement

6. Hugs

Love Stories: How the jade egg helped one woman find love

"All relationships are a mirror of the one we have with ourselves, and by upgrading our inner landscape we upgrade the outer landscape."

This wisdom comes from Marilu Snyders, a Self-Love & Jade Egg Coach and founder of Fire Maya based in Cape Town, South Africa.

Marilu lives this truth and it’s reflected in her own journey from perpetual singledom to beautiful love with the support of some good coaching and a healthy and a simple, easy jade egg practice. 🌈

It wasn’t such an easy start though. Marilu’s jade egg lay unexplored on her bedside table for about 3 months (I think my first egg collected dust for a similar amount of time). 

It seems that many women who actually own a jade never actually use it. Some (like me) are too afraid to get the thing inside of them. 

Others of us are so accustomed are some of us to vibrating toys that sing and dance, this little stone seems to go unnoticed when it finally makes its way inside of our bodies.

We wait...and...feel nothing. NOTHING! 🤨

Marliu talks us through how she was able to work past the disappointment of her initial experience with the egg to go on to develop a practice that transformed her life in so many incredible ways. 

She teaches you her secret formula for setting up your own personal jade egg practice so that you too can bring some radical change to your life. 🦋